Anton’s Big Tokyo Trip: Part 4 - The Mystery JAV Actress Revealed!
So, after three articles and two floors, this is where things start to get a bit different. By which I mean, if you’ve been compensating for the lack of pictures I took (I apologize, but they were very clear about no photos) with Joey the Anime Man’s video of SOD Land to get a visual idea of what everything looks like, thus far his video will have served you well. The table types for the second floor were different when I went there than they were when Joey did, but apart from that, things were about the same.
Now though, we’re reaching uncharted territory. The third and fourth floors of SOD Land have completely changed since Joey’s time there, and look nothing like they do in his video. Until SOD Land gives me some photos I can use of the interior, I’m afraid I’ll just have to compensate with my own powers of description. I hope I’m up to the task, and that you’ll all forgive me for this.
As June and I made our way up the stairs to the third floor, we were once again greeted by more portraits of adverbial beauties, and once again I deeply regretted not bringing my notebook. But as we approached the room’s ingress, I grinned widely, finally recognizing one of the actresses whose name was on the door!
Yes, I’m ashamed to say it, but despite writing for a JAV news site, I don’t know every single actress that works for Soft on Demand. I am, as the gamers and weebs would say, a fucking casual, and I mostly stick to watching whoever’s popular or whoever pops up in the specific genres I enjoy (that’s another potential list…). But one such genre, the chijo harem genre, produced a movie I quite enjoyed, ZUKO-091, and on the list of actresses on the door I saw someone who had been in that film: Saryu Usui!
“Hey! I know her,” I grinned, like a student who finally knows the answer on a quiz. And in response, June grinned with equal wideness and said “So do I!”
Neat, I thought, and briefly wondered if June knew Saryu as a friend, a colleague, a collaborator, or some other role. But I didn’t ask, figuring it might be rude to pry, and as we entered the room, June spotted another woman minding the bar, and the meeting of their eyes prompted an excited squeal from both of them. The woman’s name was Nana Hayami, an absolutely adorable actress, and, apparently, a friend of June’s. As the two women caught up with one another, I took a look at our surroundings, trying to save all the information I could, as I didn’t recognize anything from Joey’s video.
The lights were dim, with poster portraits on the walls and fancy dresses worn by the staff. It all gave the impression of a cabaret club, a swanky joint in which a guy like me stuck out like a sore thumb (though in fairness I do that everywhere in this country). Unlike the second floor or basement, which had a collection of smaller tables or bars, this floor had a single, very, very long u-shaped bar for the whole floor (I recalled the song I learned at Scout Camp about having only one bar on base, “Awwww”, but it’s a mile long! “Yaaaay!”), at the corner of which we sat and ordered our jasmine teas.
The conversation this time around drifted to history, me being a big fan of it and Nana, alas, not. Something she was interested in though was Marvel movies. After avoiding the hype train for years, Nana was finally starting to watch all the MCU works on Disney Plus, but wasn’t sure in what order to watch them, since the streaming service didn’t group them in any particular way. June and I agreed the best watch order was simply in order of release, but Nana pointed out that Disney Plus wouldn’t tell her that information. So I suggested she check on Wikipedia, before finally, half-jokingly, suggesting she simply watch The X-Files instead, as that would all be collated in the proper order on Disney Plus.
“Wait, The X-Files is on Disney Plus?” June was surprised, but as Nana confirmed, we found the show on the app, and soon June and I were focused on regaling Nana with the virtues of that show. Sure, sure, the monsters of the week are nice, and knowing the mytharc isn’t leading anywhere helps spare you from disappointment, but what we’re all really here for is Mulder and Scully, am I right? The sexual tension between those two? Oof! How Chris Carter never figured out that’s what we were all here for still baffles me. Several of my friends even had their bisexual awakenings from that show. That and Doctor Who, with Ace.
Ace! Autistic Bisexual icon Ace! Yeah, you Gen Zs with your Tiktoks and Hazbin Hotels will never know how important Ace was to previous queer generations (no shade on Hazbin, btw, I still need to watch that, and that night June’s nails were done up like characters from that show). But if there’s one thing I feel most accomplished about from this trip, it’s in introducing June and Nana to Ace. Sadly, this introduction also required me to explain Section 28 to them, but I hope everyone here checks out “Remembrance of the Daleks” after reading this article, if they haven’t already. It’s great, and Ace gets to fight fascists with a baseball bat and Nitro-9 (her homemade explosive). For a good chunk of our time on the third floor, we got to talk about Doctor Who, which I’m happy about.
Another thing Nana was interested in was my glasses. They make my eyes look very big, almost like Bubbles in Trailer Park Boys, or Paul McGann in real life. Nana simply had to try them on, and I obliged and laughed when she realized just how big my head was while she struggled to keep the spectacles perched.
“You certainly need these,” she muttered as she returned them to my hand, and I took the opportunity to show how much larger that hand was to hers. This tends to elicit a response from people, and Nana was no exception, as she exclaimed astonishment upon pressing her palm to mine.
At that point she also noticed how short my pinkie is compared to my other digits, a feature she herself also possesses, when another figure entered the room. And while June and Nana lit up with delight, my heart stopped cold and my eyes widened in disbelief, for it was none other than the mysterious woman from before!
“Saryu!” June laughed, and the three women all engaged in fast-paced, excited conversation. I could not tell just what it was they said, but at the back of my mind I felt a terrible fear. Oh lord, I had been mesmerized by her! The only reason my tongue had not fallen out of my mouth was because of my mask keeping it in place. And now here this woman was, gabbing away with my tour guide. For all I knew, Saryu was now telling June something along the lines of “Begads! Your friend here was staring agog at me as though he were David and I Bathsheba! So crass and uncouth…” Oh, I was utterly mortified.
If Saryu said anything about my stupefaction to June though, they never conveyed it to me. And indeed, as Saryu went over to greet other patrons at the bar, she spent most of my remaining time on that floor with her attention focused elsewhere. That suited me well enough. I confess, embarrassed as I was to have been caught staring, Saryu was even more beautiful in person than in her videos. Indeed, she was honestly unrecognizable, like a different person, and if June had not spoken her name, I might have spent the whole night wondering where Saryu was on that floor.
Anyways, I decided I needed to order some of the activities on the menu, and went for a twofer this time around. First off, an erotic whisper in my ear. I wasn’t sure if I would actually enjoy it, but I knew you all would want to hear about it, so I chose it and then stared dumbly into space when Nana asked me the very simple question of what sort of dirty talk I wanted to hear.
“Uh…” Wait, what did I want to hear? I mean, I suppose, given my size, something about not being afraid of me, or afraid that I would hurt her. And upon hearing this, June’s lips curled into a cat-like grin, as they brought Nana close and whispered conspiratorially in her ear. Soon enough, a script had been written in English for my benefit, and Nana took her phone and purple speaking trumpet and sidled up to my ear, ready to read what June had written.
In halting tones, like a wain at a church gathering having to give their first speech, Nana said “Even though you’re so big, I know you won’t hurt me. Please be gentle with me.” It was so adorable, I couldn’t help but grin, though Nana unfortunately thought this meant she hadn’t done a good job, and I had to assuage her worries and assure her that I was very happy with the service provided. Sure, maybe I wasn’t turned on, per se, but I was genuinely charmed by Nana trying her best.
So happy was I that I looked forward to seeing how well Nana would do for the second activity. It turns out that at SOD Land you can have your portrait drawn. Not with any fancy art tools or anything, just with a regular marker and paper, but it comes highly recommended. I was at once intrigued and wary of this, since I feared something like carnival caricaturists, who manage to take the exact thing you’re insecure about with regards to your features and bloat it up until it becomes the center of attention in your portrait. But after some persuading from June, I consented to the idea.
I figured, since the smile you give for photos is always somewhat strained, that perhaps the best way to give Nana a natural smile was to chat with June about amusing topics. So while Nana scribbled away, June and I discussed various things like Pokemon and Gunsmith Cats, as well as some particulars of their tour guide job.
Something June lamented on, that I think deserves airing here, is how too many potential clients send them an email along the lines of “Hey! Can you give me a wild night out on the town?” without specifying just what sort of fun they’d like to have. What are they into? What do they want to do? What’s their budget? This isn’t a regular tour guide service that comes with preplanned itineraries, and all you need to do is select which one you want. Rather, June’s goal is to assist you in finding a place where you can have a night to remember, and they can’t do that unless you give them some idea of what would make that night memorable for you. So if I could give any advice for anyone inspired to hire June after this article, it’s this: It’s probably best for you to come up with some idea of what you want to do and then ask June if that’s something they can help you with, rather than come to them and expect them to give you a fun time on a silver platter.
It was during this conversation that I wistfully sighed “Y’know, I really envy you.” And to my genuine surprise, June seemed caught off-guard by my comment.
“In… what way?” they asked cautiously, and I explained that June just seemed to have lived far more of an exciting and fulfilling life than I had. While I enjoy the simple, quiet life in the countryside, there are days when I can’t help but feel like I’m wasting my twenties away in the middle of nowhere, but here June was an expert on all of Tokyo’s sexy locales
That’s what I tried to say, and yet June didn’t appear very complimented by my words. I didn’t ask why that was, partly because it’s rude to question people on not reacting to compliments in the way you want them to. But also partly because I realized then that I was ultimately envious of what I thought June’s life was like, not what it actually was like, which was something I didn’t really know.
The best way I can describe the sensation of what I felt then was that it was like a bowling party my college threw to welcome the new freshmen. I and the other freshmen got to hang out and get to know one another at a bowling alley, and I remember there was this one guy there who had, as the wains would say, copious rizz. He was suave, handsome, and successfully chatting up just about every female freshman there including the one I had hoped to talk to. As I saw him talk to her so effortlessly, I felt utterly inadequate. But then, when we all got together for a group photo, he was standing on top of the seats by the score console when I sidled up beside him and he cried out “Agggh! God, it’s not enough to be taller than me when we’re both on the ground but when I’m on a chair?! Damn it, bruh!”
And that was when I suddenly realized. This guy was short. I genuinely hadn’t noticed, given how good-looking and charming and popular he’d been that night, and yet not only did I still stand taller than him even when he stood on the bowling seats, but he was envious of me for this. I couldn’t fathom it, and yet I realized that night that even if he had all the qualities I wanted to possess, he still remained self-conscious.
I don’t know if June is self-conscious about anything in their life, and it’s none of my business to ask anyway. After seeing their ambivalent reaction to my envy, I didn’t press the issue further. But I bring this moment up to illustrate how I think all of us see the glamor and glitz of the JAV industry and wish we could have some of that in our own ordinary and dull lives. Ultimately though, we don’t know what the price tag that comes with that glamor and glitz is. I certainly know that the things I would have to give up to be a JAV star don’t seem worth whatever rewards I could reap from it. And that’s even if I had a choice in what kind of content I’d be shooting, which I definitely wouldn’t. Maybe my lack of worldliness does make me appear deficient to the circles June walks in. But maybe, like the short guy with rizz at that bowling party, I’m simply assuming I lack something I don’t actually need. I dunno, but it’s some food for thought.
[Note: Just for added irony, after I wrote this passage and conferred with June on these articles, they pointed out that the thing they were talking about with Hinata (back in Part 3) was the trip I’d recently had. I’d traveled to the PRC, a place neither of them had been to, and while I didn’t think it was anything special compared to whatever things Hinata and June had done, Hinata was envious of me for it. So I guess that’s some toppings to the food for thought.]
Anyways, after some time conversing, my portrait was finally complete. I think Nana did a pretty good job, don’t you? Yes, this is definitely the actual portrait she drew of me. Yessiree Bob.
But anyhoo, I could have spent a whole other hour there, but time was running short, and we still had one more floor to cover, so as June said goodbye to Saryu and Nana, I typed their socials down, and the staff called upstairs to make sure they had room for us, we made our way to the fourth and final floor. As we exited, I said to the staff “Otsukaresama desu.” Which I assumed was an appropriate way of saying “I see you’re working hard, and thank you for all you do.” But it made June chuckle, and I worried that maybe I had just said something foolish. I hope I didn’t stick my foot in my mouth.
So, at this point, I know you’re all probably wondering “When the fuck is this article series going to end?” And I apologize, I really do. The same amount of stuff that happens at a typical fan meet event happened on a single floor of SOD Land, and I’m only able to write down the stuff I was able to type notes for. I did not write down half of what I saw, for I have these really massive mitts that certainly impressed Nana, but which make typing a pain. But I promise the next article will be the conclusion of this series. Maybe. Possibly. I mean, look, it depends on factors outside of my control. Whatever the case, Part 5 is gonna conclude with my going back to my hotel and closing the day off, but there might be a Part 6, but- it’s complicated. In the meantime, I’m signing off for now, and I hope you all will still tune in for the next installment.
By Anton Algren @ June 18th, 2024
By Anton Algren @ March 30th, 2024