Anton’s Big Tokyo Trip: Part 5 - A Long Goodbye to SOD Land

Yes, it certainly has taken a while for me to conclude this series of articles. I’m sorry, but a lot happened that day, and that night. Don’t worry, with this final installment of my Tokyo Trip, we’ll cover the fourth and final floor of the building, and cap the night off with a funny joke (you all know I have a tendency to do that).



So, the fourth floor was the Silent Bar, where talking was not strictly prohibited, but certainly discouraged. Not only that, but June and I had to put on these strange helmets that looked kind of like the glass casings on those MOSPEADA helmets that Scott Bernard wore back in Robotech. Does anyone get that reference? Uh, okay, June and I looked like Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo from Daft Punk, but without the gold bits. It was just an opaque glass casing that covered our faces. Inadequately, in my case, as I was barely able to squeeze my massive cranium into the stupid thing. But, I assumed, when putting the visor on, its purpose was to prevent any visible embarrassment on the patrons’ faces.

This room had also undergone a serious renovation since Joey’s time there. The woman there did not make drinks for you, and though she was standing on glass (underneath which was the only source of light in the dark room), I didn’t spot any place where you could crawl underneath the glass to get a look at her from below (even if there had been though I probably wouldn’t have been able to fit). As with the previous floor, there were portraits of other actresses along the walls, all of whom were dressed in the same sexy outfit as the woman on the glass floor. I can’t for the life of me remember if these were sexy maid outfits or sexy bunnygirl outfits, but I suppose that’s a testament to just how sexy the outfits were. You weren’t really looking at the headgear.

I spotted an actress on the wall that I thought I recognized, and asked June if that was Suzu Honjo. It was dark, so June had to squint, before eventually saying “I… think so? Maybe.” But when I eventually got back to my hotel and looked up Suzu Honjo, I realized I’d gotten her mixed up with Yume Nikaido (Ai Hongo), and I felt thoroughly embarrassed, especially since the two actresses look nothing alike! Though I think Suzu Honjo was also on the wall, so I don’t know if June ever cottoned on to my silly mistake.

The name of the woman on the glass floor was Miu Kurosaki. I know this because it was clearly written on a white board in the room, and I made sure to type the name down on my phone before leaving. And yet, after returning home and searching for her name, I can’t find her anywhere. Even with the aid of the various resources available to ZENRA as a JAV news site, I couldn’t find a single trace of her in our files. So that’s why for this section of the article, you’re getting pictures of Suzu Honjo and Yume Nikaido instead. For all I know, Miu isn’t even a JAV actress. My first guess would be that she was some sort of dancer, but she didn’t really spend too much time dancing on the stage, instead mostly lounging about seductively whilst onlookers enjoyed the view. Maybe she was tired that night.

Whatever the case, June and I ordered our jasmine teas and then promptly realized how difficult it was to drink the blasted things whilst we had our masks on. After some futile sipping attempts I gave up. Time was running out on our two hours anyway, and I needed to order some activity.

I chose the kissing activity, and was promptly educated on the real purpose behind the masks. I expected Miu to simply make kissing noises a safe distance away from me, but in fact, she got close. Very close. So close that her hands were now clasping my casing, and when she kissed while seductively leaning forward on her knees, she actually kissed the visor in front of my face.

She was so close, I could see every detail of her face. I could smell the perfume she wore. I could feel the warmth of her body, emanating from her skin, knowing how soft it must be even as my hands remained firmly by my side. On the train to Tokyo that morning, I’d listened to the BBC adaptation of The Long Goodbye, and wondered how Philip Marlowe could fall prey to Mrs. Wade’s seduction when she was clearly a bad’un and mentally unwell and her husband was in the very next room. But in that moment, I suddenly understood just how tempting something you know is wrong can be, how strong the urge can get to abandon all good sense and do something very, very stupid.

Side note here, but I’m curious, did Philip Marlowe ever actually have sex in any of the original Chandler novels? I know he made out with Vivian Sternwood, but I can’t remember if he ever actually went further than second base with any of the damsels and dames he helped out on his cases. If not, then I can see why he was such a miserable lush all the time. God. (See below for what no pussy does to a man)

When the activity ended, I was glad. And I was even gladder June didn’t tease me about it, their only comment being that when Miu had knelt down and leaned forward, the gentlemen sitting at a posterior position to her had been very happy at the new sight before them. I’m glad they enjoyed the show.

At this point our two hours were up, so June and I made our way back downstairs to the front desk and paid for our time. Overall I’d say it was certainly a worthwhile experience. And since I don’t think I’d have enjoyed it as much all on my own, I’d say hiring June as a tour guide was well worth it. If you have a chance, check SOD Land out, preferably with friends or with a tour guide, like June or the interpreter they offer at the venue.

June at this point had to make their own social media posts, so I skedaddled off to the bathroom to take care of all the jasmine tea I’d consumed, and shocked a group of gentlemen in the basement when they saw me enter. I understand “big” and cries of exclamation in every language.

After that, outside the entryway of the building one of the staff members who spoke English came up to me and gave me his business card. He said if I contacted him afterwards he could send me PDFs of all the menu items for my article, and thanked me for patronizing their establishment. I thanked him profusely, before June and I headed out.

Here’s where things get funny. Much, much later, once I finally got back home and I gave a brief rundown of my night to the other ZENRA staff, the boss man asked me if I’d learned why Pickles Bourne has that pseudonym. I had no idea who he was talking about, and so I googled the name only to find that it was this staff member! He’s in charge of that organization whose card I got back in Part 2, which is also the company for the interpreter service at SOD Land (same parent company), and he’s an internet celebrity and I genuinely had no idea who the heck this guy was. Man, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve used the services of someone who’s internet famous without even realizing that they’re famous, I’d have twelve cents, which isn’t a lot, but… wait. Hang on. I… never mind.

Anyways, after all that, I walked June back to the station and we chatted along the way. I had a really fun time with them. They make for excellent conversation, and I hope that before I return to the States I can collaborate with them or report on them for one last time. Maybe I can hire them on another, non-work-related tour. Or, heck, maybe if they come down to Kansai, I can give them a tour of the cities there. I’m not much good with knowing where adult or LGBTQ+ venues are, but if they’re more interested in history than Nana is, maybe I can show them Osaka Castle. Or, the next time I come down to Edo, maybe I can give June a tour of the Ten Shrines of Tokyo during the day, and then they can give me a tour of some sexy spots during the night. Who knows? One thing I can say though is, June, if you’re reading this, you should check out a movie called Chutney Popcorn. It’s great, and I think it’d be right up your street.

I said goodbye to June, and now I’ve got one last funny moment from that night, one more story to tell before turning into my hotel. Like I said in Part 2, Kabukicho is the inspiration for Kamurocho, from the Yakuza games. Only a few weeks before going there, I had purchased Yakuza 0 to finally start playing those games, and one of the sidequests I’d managed to complete was the Arakure Quest one, which starts out at a Don Quijote store in Kamurocho. As I was making my way back from the station to my hotel, I noticed a Don Quijote on the street… and then suddenly stopped.

Wait, I thought to myself, and checked my surroundings, before laughing in disbelief. It was the exact same Don Quijote store! Down to the last detail, they perfectly recreated it for the games. I was so amazed, I simply had to take a picture. I’m telling you, it even has the same subway ingress right next to it. I was simply flabbergasted!

So on that high note, my night in Tokyo ended. It was a lot of fun, and even if everything didn’t work out like I’d planned, I don’t regret it. I think this might even be my favorite trip thus far. I’m looking forward to going back to Tokyo in the coming months, and I hope I have many more memorable adventures.

In the meantime, once Mr. Bourne sends me the PDFs (and the answers to some questions I posed to him), I’ll be sure to drop them here as an epilogue to the story. A Part 6, if you will. But until then, just as I was after that night’s adventure, I’m now getting tired, and I’d like to retire for the evening. Have a good night, readers, and I’ll see you in the next one.