Anton’s Fetifes Adventure - Chapter 5: Miori Hara and the Yumekawa Strip Show

This time around, I was smart enough to take the stairs to the show, instead of the elevator. Unfortunately by the time I arrived the show was about to start, and there were no free seats left available. I could stand for a while, but decided that, since I still had some hours left of the event’s day, it would be best if I leaned against a wall. On the bright side this made picture-taking easier, as I didn’t have to worry about someone’s shifting head getting in the way of my shots. But by the end of things, even with the aid of leaning, my feet were rather tired.

This show, the Yumekawa Strip Show, was slightly different from what was originally planned, since one of the two dancers, Oto Momose, had to bow out due to an injury. But there was still one dancer, Miori Hara, to give us a good show. And it promised to be an entertaining show at that. June’s official English description (courtesy of the Tokyo Love District) of the event reads:

[Yumekawa is a cute, dreamy Japanese fashion aesthetic…but who says cute can’t be sexy, too?! AV actress Miori, who also dances at Asakusa Rockza, will perform a soft and sweet strip show…with a naughty flair!]

And that’s about the sum of what we got. I don’t know Miori’s exact age, but I got the impression from her manner and bearing that she had been in the game for some years at this point, and was a veteran of the stripping business, since she certainly knew her stuff, gliding gracefully along the stage without once missing a beat, as agile and emotive with her motions as a cat. Wait, was that all one sentence? I suppose so.

Anyways, I confess, browsing through Miori’s Twitter (no I am not going to call it X), I’m surprised at how girlish her persona in the pics she posts is. I assumed from seeing her in person that she was older than me. But I suppose I’ll never find out her age, especially when one shouldn’t ask that sort of thing.

Whatever the case, Miori’s nebulous age I think simply showed that the cute and sexy style can be ageless. It doesn’t matter how old you are, you can be both cute and sexy and embody the Yumekawa aesthetic, which I suppose is a comforting message.

Lest you be fooled by the name though, this strip show remained firmly tasteful in its proceedings, Miori never showing us anything saucier than the cute, lewd lingerie she wore. I could see her ribs and her abs as she showed off said lingerie. I don’t think there was an ounce of body fat on her. It was all lithe muscle, which made me enviously wonder just what her diet and exercise routine is. Seriously, does she, like, just not eat carbs except on the weekends? I can only dream of having abs like her, heheh.

The basic thrust of the strip show was that Miori would have an outfit per song, which she would elegantly disrobe before putting on a new set of clothes for the next song, until time ran up and Miori ran out of clothes to put on and take off. What’s amazing though is how Miori never stopped moving. Like, even the act of changing her outfits became a graceful dance with her.

I remember an interview with John Oliver where he talked about how you never see strippers put clothes back on whilst on stage, the reason being that it’s sad and undignified. Yet Miori made that exact act look elegant and smooth. As for erotic? I confess, by the end of the show I wasn’t so much turned on as I was instead deeply impressed by Miori’s acrobatic prowess and happy from her infectious smile (her show was just so dang cheerful, you couldn’t help but grin while watching). But there was definitely a lewdness to her dancing, even if it didn’t quite turn me on per se. One notable moment came when, whilst going around to collect clams, when Miori got them she would curl the notes up and jerk them off like a penis. I confess, I’ve never seen that done before (though it wouldn’t be the last time I saw it that day), but I couldn’t help but laugh at it.

Then in another amusing moment, one song and dance routine involved Miori trying to reach some fitness goal, but failing to do a single pushup. After collapsing to the ground in shame and exhaustion, slamming her fists down in defeat, and pouting in a most pathos-inspiring way, Miori put on one of those kanji-laden headbands you see folks here wear all the time when they want to show their determination towards a goal (yes, this was a show where the stripper would sometimes put more clothes on at points, just roll with it), and then after what was effectively a training montage of sorts, Miori stood triumphant and proud! But she still couldn’t do a pushup. Everyone cheered at her victory, but I was the only asshole who thought to myself “Hey! You didn’t actually do the thing I assumed this goal was all about!” Oh well. I guess I’m just a stick in the mud.

Even in my cynical state though, I had a wonderful time watching Miori dance. And after her show was all over, since there weren’t any more actresses I wanted to get pictures with, and because I very much wanted to sit down at the next show, pretty much as soon as we were let out I got right back in line. Already there were some people gathered in wait for the next show, so I got to the back of them and decided to wait the next half hour out there.

As I waited I could hear people breaking down the set in preparation for the next show. I wasn’t sure what they were setting up, but I found my gaze wandering and noticing some interesting sights as I was stuck in one spot. The leader guy of the Zentai crew popped in, and I saw what he looked like with his mask off. Runa Tsukinose came to the floor, with who I assumed was her boyfriend, and he seemed like… just a normal guy. I’m having a difficult time explaining his appearance, other than just a normal guy, but that’s really the best way to put it. He had the sort of appearance that spy networks love, when they go about recruiting agents to blend in to wherever they send people on assignment, and this man looked like he could blend into just about any background he was sent to. Erika Momoyama also came to the floor, but she didn’t even notice me, which I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised about. Still, I’d hoped for at least a nod of acknowledgement. There was also a woman on that floor who was wearing a bucket hat, the kind of hat that got Dutch sailors snickered at when they first arrived in China due to their green color, but in this case the hat was a carnation color, with a pink point at the top. It took me a while, but once I realized that this bucket hat was supposed to be a nipple, I chuckled.

When I noticed the poster close by me though, I began to feel seriously unwell. There’s no way in hell I can describe what was on that poster without getting into trouble with S&P, so let me just say that it was showcasing a fetish that rhymes with “chore”. And for those of you now going “Bore, core, door…” please, I beg of you, do not go any further. If you know, you know already, and if you don’t, I can assure you, learning will probably ruin your day. It certainly made me deeply uncomfortable, and I did my best to ignore it until finally the doors to the stage opened up and I could finally move from my spot.

Upon my entry into the room though (Fun fact, did you know that the word entr*nce would get me in just as much trouble with S&P as that fetish on the poster?), I was promptly informed that press were not allowed to sit in any of the seats they’d prepared for the show. And so with aching feet, crushing disappointment, and a sad trombone playing in the background, I decided to go back to the wall where I’d leaned before. I suppose there’s a moral to learn from all this, but what it is I can’t quite think. Until next time.

Social media links for the girl I saw (and the one I didn’t see):

Miori Hara (https://twitter.com/miori_hara)

Oto Momose (https://twitter.com/momoseoto)