JAV Covers: The Good, The Bad, The Weird Part 2

What a great cover. Hitomi in a leopard print fur coat, with her heaving tits out all perky and some cash stuck right in there. She plays a haughty loan shark who gets her comeuppance by some frustrated debtors. Even as a non-Hitomi fan I can’t deny how good this cover looks. A big busty woman with a fat stack of cash out her cleavage is alluring no ifs and or buts about it.

Well that cover is down right artistic. The mood lighting, the overhead shot, the chains; this is a pretty nice moody looking cover. A stark contrast to the more rough and hard content of the title. This is an office gang bang that features lots of rough and hard sex under the hardcore Hunter Black label.

Badass. Hibki Otsuki looks like one bad bitch all decked out in this Kamen Rider slash Iron man costume. I don’t know if these super heroic type covers, entice people but it certainly looks cool. The video is pretty standard for the most costumed super hero sub genre. Hibiki plays a heroine who is trapped by her enemies and sexually played with.

There is nothing really special about this cover. It is just Mio in the center wearing a dynamite dress. Sometimes all you need is a pretty woman in a great outfit. Mio looks amazing in that long dress, everything about it is just right. From her muscular ass jutting out to the side, to how it cuts just above the hip. To an ass man that cover is cat nip.

Iori heads down to Australia for this stellar image video. Like Iori, this cover is top down, front to back beautiful. Iori stripped down nude and half way down a body of water. Her pussy submerged with just the top of her pubes sticking out. Her slender figure is alluring as always but the water ripple and her reflection puts this cover on a whole other level. That reflection is just so damn pretty looking. I only wished the cover gave us a better vertical angle to see it. The back side is great too (just like Iori’s) with a choice set of pics of her.

Even the title knows how she looks here. I my experience it’s rare for JAV to sell actresses on their coolness. They mostly sell them on their sexiness, sluttiness, innocence, or wackiness so this is cool cover is a nice rarity. The cigarette, the tight black leather pants, and her aloof expression just ooze cool. And yes the black leather pants plays heavily in one scene. There is also some cool graphic design on the back side.

Not sure if this belonged in good or weird but as an Ass Man this cover is anything but hell. From the front cover to the back cover, this is wall to wall ass. The man’s scrunched up face, the quartet of asses in multi color underwear, and to top it all off the tag line “Dead or Hip”. The Perfection. The video itself is just ass paradise with lots of butts in faces and cameras on rears.

We stay on the photoshop glory with Ai Sayama. Photoshop is supposed to be bad. We shouldn’t get fooled by the editing glow up but sometimes it’s too good. Here Ai is with Wanz following the Reverse Bunny suit trend with her own entry. No her tits are that big or supple nor is her skin as flawless but this is a lie I can get behind. A terrific cover with a costume that was so hot in the streets.

Another group of titles up next are with SOD. This is just clever box art design. Using a bright and colorful leotard to make the V in AV. It’s a design they have used a couple a times; once with Tina Nanami and twice with Mana Sakura. Mana debuted with this clever design and when she remade her debut title they also remade the cover. The cute and fresh faced Mana to the mature Mana is quite the glow up journey. Credit to which ever graphic designer that thought up of this.

We stay on the SOD train with Rei Kamiki’s jaw droppingly gorgeous box cover. No fancy tricks here just a pretty girl on the cover looking fine as hell. I don’t need to break it down anymore than that. Rei just looks fantastic. Full stop. And yes she does have a scene with that outfit but with her hair up oddly enough.

Our next cover is just oozing with cool with Riko Tachibana. Sporting a nice leopard print themed outfit and a dope pair of orange glasses. She is looking cool as the other side of the pillow. Not only that the clean and crispy style of the rest of the cover adds to the coolness. The clean block font and the structed photos on the back. Looking like the cover of a magazine. This is a clean cover.

Okay now for something that outsiders from Japan will know. Porn fans from abroad should totally know what this cover is from the cover. The old pizza delivery man with the dick through the pizza. A classic image in western porn. Couple of things to like about the cover. The little text on the bottom with “Big Sausage Service” and the guy giving a thumbs up in pleasure. Oh and the pretty lady with a big sausage in her mouth looking straight ahead.

Why don’t we class things up with the next one. This is a ballerina themed title and it has the cover to match. A surprisingly beautiful cover. A nude dancer mid form against a completely black backdrop with a serious crowd behind her. A pretty cover that isn’t filled to the brim with text.

This cover is straight and to the point. A pretty girl with glasses and cum splattered all over her face. Looking straight at you with a serious expression. It’s both a little scary and very enticing. I like the simplicity of it all. No need to dress her up in fancy clothes or with a nice eye catching backdrop. What you see on the cover is what you will get inside. Mimika Toda stars as the spectacled cum magnet.

Venus is at it again with a heavily photo shopped cover. June’s ass is made to look way bigger than it is (it’s already big people) and her face is straight up altered to look like someone else. Covers are always edited and meant to sell you on them but they shouldn’t be straight up lies. A bad cover of a good actress.

Bad wig? Check. A poor costume? Check. A bad picture? Check. This cover for some reason chose the most unflattering photo of Aika. Just an unappetizing cover. As for the video Aika in cosplay as she dominates submissive men. She is a spot on casting choice for Yoruichi from Bleach, though her wig could’ve better. Aika is a victim to a couple of bad covers, maybe designers have trouble working with her gal looks.

I don’t dislike this cover because it stars a fat actress no. I dislike it for the body art and ugly image they chose to draw. Body art is already hit or miss and you decide to paint her with the ugliest thing you can think of. It almost seems like the studio didn’t want people to watch this title. Some title concepts are too weird to enjoy, by anybody.

By all intents and purposes, this title succeeds in what it sets out to do. And that is to sell you on a kappa sex tape. Who wants to see a kappa getting fucked? I don’t know and I don’t want to know. And not just any kappa but old grannies with ugly makeup and costumes on. A nightmare of a cover, but maybe one that they wanted. Mission accomplished.

I am so glad that Idea Pocket eventually went away from this series. A series about old men with a big love for licking. These covers are my nightmare fuel. At first glance it’s just a normal cover; pretty girl nude in center. Until your eye wanders to the corner to show you the old geezer hiding behind. Sadly the series caught on with other studios like Fitch and they made it even worse. Putting on extra makeup to make the actor even more and wrinkly. Look at him on the cover. He is pure nightmare fuel. You wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat thinking of that damned old fart. Weeks pass and your life goes on. One day at work while having lunch that damned old fart’s face flashes before you. Why on God’s green Earth would someone make this title, this cover. I ask myself this over and over. Who would want this. This abomination.

We’ve talked about some good photoshop now for some bad ones with Catwalk Poison (not a great name either). Catwalk Poison loves to touch up their covers in one specific way. By giving them giant dark pupils. Like something out of a Big Eyes painting, it takes Anime eyes to the real world. I find these so unnerving.

Next is a studio who loves two things; big curvy women and making all the ladies they work with look like that. They love big ol women. Now check out these two covers. Can you tell who they are? It’s two names who have been around AV for a long time. It’s Yuu Shinoda and AIKA. Both looking far different than they ever have. This is beyond touching up someone to make them look better. This is a straight up lie.

These covers from STRAWBERRY CATS GOLD a sublabel with Prestige are just too busy. JAV covers love to blast their covers with text and words but this takes it to the max. Even throwing in some personal censors with the bright yellow scribbles. This is what a graphic designer would call a mess.

I’m speechless. I am without speech. They say you learn something new every day they don’t say if that knowledge is good or bad. I have heard of fisting but never this. What do you even call it heading? The real question is; do I even want to know. The video stars Hana Kano who I think might be the Wildest Woman in JAV ever.

I wasn’t sure if this belonged to the Best cover section or not. But seeing as how the series name is “Anaconda Soapland”, yeah it belongs in the weird section. Just look at it. It is weird as hell but also a little enticing. Three pretty women with very exaggerated tongue photo shopped longer. All these women are already known for their long tongues, so the cover decided to push that to 11. An absolutely demented cover but not entirely in a bad way.

If the censors make it hard to see, her tits are being used to fuck some dicks. Yes this title’s gimmick is using a pair of over sized nipples to fuck. I’m not sure what to make of her tits. They have to be fake but when you watch the trailer they look oddly real? I can’t tell. Real or prosthetic, this is one stranger of a title.

No flowery title needed here, it gets straight to the point. People fucking in animal masks. Bunny, horse, and panda mask. Yes the masks stay on for everything. There is a nice shot of the bunny mask going down on a cock. The actresses are even unlisted even though they had a big name like Yui Hatano in it. The cover is also weirdly well done, kind of nice lighting.

More animal themes here. I don’t know how a secret agent gets into a panda costume and I don’t need to know. Let us just bask in the image of a woman in a panda costume with a gun to her side. And before you even need to ask, yes she fucks in it but it is only for one scene. A cover that makes you double take.

This is one of the stranger covers and possible gross depending on how you look at it. But possibly also a little enticing. Its a women with her eyes rolled up in the back of her head as she is trying to suck down an impossibly large dildo. There is also some foam to the side and the back cover has her with the most demented expression on her face. An oddity of a cover that could be bad or weird depending on what you like (or even good).

That certainly is an eye catching cover. SOD really are one of the best makers of odd porn. This one was for Suzuha Amakawa AV debut title. It’s a weird one. Apparently it has her going to a doctor to get some procedure done on her vagina. The cover is actually nice, the premise weird.

Speaking of makers of weird porn. Here is some old school Rocket with a cover that could give a robot a semi. A sex toy/machine title that really double downs on the machine part. And as usual for Rocket some of it takes place outside. I can’t say that looks really enticing or comfortable but it is head turning. This is what happens when you let engineers near porn.

More Rocket up next with this suspension title. Suspension play isn’t my thing nor do I really get it. This does make for a really interesting cover however because it’s not only showing the woman suspended but what is above her too. Showing the workers making sure this all works well.

From first glance this is a pretty plain cover until you realize what they are going for. Yeah this is a Dragon Quest themed title with a cover to match. The penis cartoon mascot is a knock off of the series iconic slime monsters. Square Enix about to call their lawyers if they ever see this cover.

The cover isn’t all that weird. It looks fine…for the cover for a snowboarding magazine. But this is an AV cover for Hibiki Otsuki and her big love of snowboarding. Even the back cover is light on the nudity and sex. It’s a sweet cover just so out of place alongside all the lewd covers you’ll see in porn.

Just a really long nipple. Lots of close ups of nipples sometimes getting twisted and pulled on. Weird but pretty par for these specific fetish stuff. Still an extreme close up of a really long nipple nets it a spot here.

That ends our second box covers in JAV. Share some of your favorite covers codes; the good ones, the bad ones, or just the plain weird ones. Til next time, Fried Chikan out