Nazuna Nonohara, JAV actress who used to be scared of men manga

They say a picture is worth 1,000 words. How much words would a manga be? We find out with Nazuna Nonohara, a Japanese adult video actress, who wrote a manga personally based on her early life and how she developed Androphobia, the fear of men.

WARNING: The manga is very dark and disturbing as it talks about matters that can make someone uncomfortable.

You wouldn't think a JAV actress, whose job involves working with men most of the time & very intimately, would ever have been afraid of men. Nazuna Nonohara tells us how that had come to be in her manga that she writes and draws herself, "My story before I, who was scared of males, became a porn actress." If you don't know, manga are Japanese comics.

In the first chapter of her her manga she writes and draws in great detail her deep and dark thoughts that came about from a illicit relationship she had with her "father." Father is in quotations as she gave him two names, the twisted "father" and her kind "papa." He would give her kisses and hug her. Though it's not the peck on the cheek and hug a father would normally give a loved one, especially one so young. "Father" would give her deep kisses with his tongue and touch her all over her body, depicted was his hand around her buttocks. As Nazuna grew up with this sort of relationship she thought it was normal and others were doing the same.

Nazuna's parents often had loud arguments. She would hide in her home with her older and younger brother when they had those arguments. The arguments messed with Nazuna's personality as she became forgetful, clumsy, and had dark thoughts about being useless in life when bad things would happen at home and school. 

Her family soon grew in size, but their parents split when she was still a compulsory education student, her mother taking her brothers and leaving both daughters to their father. Soon enough she rarely sees her "papa" anymore and more of her  "father" who looks at her coldly. As a result of her emotional distress she starts to wet her pants frequently when she arrives outside of her home after school.

After a while her mom comes to her school and Nazuna ends up leaving her home and stays with various relatives while her younger sister is still with her "father" and learns his actions toward her is actually those of someone extremely twisted. She ends up living with her mother and it is revealed her older brother has become a shut in and if anyone talks with him at home he lets out a monstrous scream to get them away from him. Nazuna believes this might have resulted from the physical abuse their father gave to him.

Soon after his screaming started she was visited by a dark figure at night. He would go on top of a resting Nazuna and continuously kiss and touch her while she laid on the futon with her eyes closed while pretending to be asleep. Even if she went to her mothers futon he would also go under the blanket and although he wouldn't touch her when they were by their mother she would feel the heat from his body which sickened her. It got to the point where one night that dark figure passed the line of no return and ended her maidenhood. The next day she told her mother while crying what happened, the first time she's talked about the illicit relationship shes had; though she still never told her mom about "father" or her previous nights with that dark figure.

Soon Nazuna felt she was being watched all the time and became very aware of men. She also felt "dirtied" and thoughts of self-harm would come across her mind.

It was in middle school she developed Androphobia, the fear of men. The "boys" she had been around in primary school had become "men" with their intense gazes at her which reminded her of the wrong and hurtful gazes her "father" and older brother would give her. Even the male teachers in her life were cruel as they would yell at her if she made a mistake in her studies, which she was behind on as she couldn't concentrate due to the corrupt thoughts that filled her mind. All of this culminated in her breaking down and thoughts of suicide would more frequently cross her mind, saved only by thoughts of fear of actually doing it.

You can watch her AV at R18, including her most recent title as of publishing this article, which coincidentally is titled "I Had A Phobia Of Men, And I Had Sex Nazuna Nonohara" here.
 

Personal thoughts:

This was a interesting yet very dark reading. Again, you'd never think someone who works in the Japanese adult video industry would have been previously afraid of men. Yet here we are. Nazuna debuted with JAV studio SOD in November of 2018 and her most recent releases was June of 2020, so it's not like she only did JAV once and left the industry.

You can watch Nazuna's debut AV at R18 here.

Sometimes you hear stories or rumors of something similar to this, the woman had a abusive physical relationship or even a illicit relationship with a family member and they joined the adult industry as a result or prostitution on the streets. I can't say that's the same for everyone, as some join the adult industry out of pure curiosity. Yet there is the stigma that comes with working in the adult industry that this sort of thing happens and there's something wrong in the head of those who work in the industry, at least for the women as there is the double standard of "low life women" vs the "heros and lucky men" that do porn. You'll find even those who "vilify" the sex work industry as someone who enjoys it themselves in secret. Those people are the worst as they are being hypocritical of something they enjoy yet consider it the worst thing they've ever seen/heard.

The women I follow on social media who are currently or retired from the adult industry are smart, entrepreneurial, and strong women. I've seen those who watch them publicly denounce them yet also hold them on a high pedestal where they must maintain a certain physical appearance. If they don't keep up that" certain image" then they berate those they love to watch to change and results in mentally and physically affecting those they are targeting. Luckily those people are in the minority but their voices are still heard and sometimes even a "herd mentality" follows with others saying the same which amplifies the hurt they send out. You'll find there are more people willing to defend those that are hurt and it helps to see those supporting them.

I personally appreciate and respect those that work in the profession. It's something they chose to do and those of us outside the adult industry get to enjoy it. Not to say I don't sometimes see some words or actions from those in the adult industry that makes me question their sanity or judgement but in the end work is work and life is life. You'll question lots of people in your life, from leaders to even your friends and family. If there's something they do that you don't enjoy then move on to their next work or enjoy their older works.

Back to the manga. Reading it made me filled with thoughts of pity, sadness, anger, and rage. Things like this happen on a daily basis but are pushed aside as they are never reported unless a celebrity is involved and it's not something people regularly want to hear about. The ones that do hear about it are social workers, police officers, teachers, and others who deal with children on a daily basis. What they must see and hear about is likely worst than the manga but that doesn't make Nazuna's story any less important to know about. She sheds a light into the human life and psyche most won't grow up or learn about until they read about it, including myself. So by making her story into manga with words and drawings it's more likely to get read than a textbook filled with just words. I grew up in your average household and haven't experienced much beyond arguments and some light physical punishment, not unlike Nazuna and her brothers. Suicidal thoughts have come across my mind too but for other reasons so on some level I can understand Nazuna, though not as worst as she depicted it.

Reading her manga you'd think there wouldn't be a good ending but the fact that Nazuna is living a life in the JAV industry, having fun with cosplay, and is able to show us her early life by making her manga tells us otherwise. There might be instances of trauma that get brought up again from within her but I don't know her personally so I can only assume. While making her manga it must have though in order to bring about the realism in her writings and drawings that are so vivid and make us feel like we're there when everything is happening to her. It hasn't been revealed yet in the manga how she got over her fear of men and got into the JAV industry but if more people buy her manga to show they're interested then she'll continue to make it and we'll eventually learn how.

In conclusion, following along with the story you want to protect her and wish it never happened but maybe she made it to show us it does happen and for us to acknowledge that it does. We couldn't protect her but if you see something similar happening to a child, or even an adult, then maybe you can protect them.

Do it for her

Watch Nazuna's JAV at R18.

Nazuna's Twitter & Instagram

https://twitter.com/nononazu_1108

Cosplay account https://twitter.com/syabanono

https://www.instagram.com/nonohara_nazuna/

Support Nazuna by buying her manga on Amazon JP or when it becomes available at your local bookstore.