Panking's Top 10 Most Disappointing JAV Movies From The Past Five Years.
We've all been there. Spot an enticing cover or come across a promising sounding title. You grab the video and load it up. Begin watching with sheer excitement before that quickly fades away into disappointment. I've shared that feeling many times and it's the reason I'm here today with this particular list. Now I should preface this by saying that most of these films here do have positive elements and are still enjoyable to a degree. However that enjoyment is a mere fraction of what could have been. Now lets kick it off with my number 10 choice.
10. SNIS-951
"Secret Lovers The No.1 Dojinshi Comic In A Real CG Live Action Adaptation!!"
Starring "Kirara Asuka"
Initially upon first seeing this cover I was pretty hyped. But when it finally released and I got my hands on it I soon discovered it was a complete dud in nearly every way. I’m not gonna explain the plot too much because honestly its pretty ridiculous and it's a bit difficult to make sense of. Apparently it's an adaptation of a "dojinshi" which is a term for a self-published erotic manga. It’s all very silly, over the top and it just didn't click for me at all. I'm sure if you can speak Japanese you may get more enjoyment out of the premise. But even so there's far more bringing this film down than just the plot sadly.
The action is pretty mediocre itself with utterly lackluster sex scenes and one of the worst uses of fake cum I’ve seen in any video. I understand that they’re going for that over the top live-action hentai feel but it just doesn’t translate well. Beyond that her performance is terrible. No energy, no enthusiasm and barely any engagement from her at all. Just a flat and awful performance in nearly every way. While she does wear a few very sexy outfits and she’s in good shape physically that’s nowhere near enough to save this disappointing film. Don’t be fooled by the cover as it’s not worth your time at all.
9. PPPD-636
"Super Colossal Tits Cosplayer"
Starring "Hitomi Tanaka"
8. SSNI-799
"While My Girlfriend Was Away For 3 Days, I Fucked Her Older Sister And Her Divine Titties"
Starring "Rara Anzai"
What a cover, right? Also the title sounds pretty promising as well. Well unfortunately the film doesn't live up to that hype. Here Rara Anzai takes on the older sister role. The sister's boyfriend becomes infatuated with her and ends up getting busted while sniffing her bra and jerking off. He eventually gives her a massage and gropes her tits. Soon after they proceed to have sex and continue to fuck throughout the rest of the film. It's a solid premise but the execution falters. One issue is the lack of risk to the scenes. It's a huge missed opportunity given the setup. The action is fairly underwhelming too with some very pointless scenes and super vanilla action. The pacing has issues too as no real sex happens until nearly an hour into the film. I understand its done to build up the plot but the execution misses the mark, mainly due to her performance(more on that in a bit).
Now onto the mediocre production quality. One issue is the camerawork which is a mixed bag. On one hand I appreciate the voyeuristic shots that help set the tone of the film but sometimes the angles are just not ideal at all. Plus it constantly switches to the view through a cell phone and it can be rather jarring at times making it all feel quite messy. All the different camera shots(phone, static and dynamic) lead to a slightly disorganized mess. Lastly her performance is very underwhelming. She can be quite lethargic overall and lacks enthusiasm which is most notable during the paizuri sections. Those scenes feature some of the worst paizuri acting I've seen in recent memory, not to mention her technique is very weak. Her facial expressions leave a lot to be desired too. I was really hopeful that this would be one of her all time best films but sadly it's nothing more than one of the biggest letdowns of 2020.
7. SSNI-646
"She's Magically Luring Me To Temptation With Her Firm And Voluptuous Thighs and Big Tits"
Starring "Aika Yumeno"
On paper this film should be a slam dunk right? A film centered entirely around Aika Yumeno's thighs sounds like an amazing time. However the film really misses the mark in some key areas resulting in a resounding disappointment. The general focus is indeed on her voluptuous thighs as random men cannot help themselves to grab a piece of her. Although in some scenes she's the one taking the lead. It's a meaty 3 hour long film with plenty of sex so how could it go bad? Well first off I will say it's not all terrible here. Aika delivers some great acting here and there and some of the sex is solid. Plus the variety in the scene setups is nice.
So where does it go wrong then? Well for starters one of my biggest gripes is the lighting. It's way too damn bright in some scenes. It's like the sun is going supernova outside. It's very unnatural and really hampers the enjoyment. One scene even uses this gross orange/yellow-ish filter which makes no sense at all. Production quality issues don't end there. Not one, not two but three scenes uses the EXACT same room. It's so lazy and uninspired. Plus the pacing is quite bloated too as some scenes take way too long to get going or overstay their welcome. Also I'm personally not a huge fan of some of the outfits here either. All in all this film is really brought down by some major production issues. A shame because it had some real potential.
6. FSDSS-046
"Her Retirement Special She Loves To Suck On Recently Ejaculated Dicks In A Sperm-Filled Blowjob Paradise"
Starring "Aoi/Yuko Ono"
Aoi deserved better. This is indeed Aoi's final film(at least for right now) and unfortunately it fails to leave any sort of impact. It boasts quite a bland concept as the only real theme it has going on is that it focuses on Aoi sucking the guy's dicks after they've shot their load. Beyond that there's absolutely no real plot at all. It all feels very uninspired. This definitely doesn't feel like a proper retirement video and that's probably due to Aoi suddenly retiring. Faleno hadn't planned on this being her final film but had no choice when Aoi pulled the plug. There's been some rumors and speculation on why she called it quits but I'd rather not get into that here. It seems to be health reasons though.
Now how about the film itself. If I had one word to summarize the whole video it would be "bland". While it's not particularly terrible in any specific aspect it does nothing to stand out from the rest of her library. The pacing is quite slow with a major emphasis on blowjobs. It's very unfortunate as the actual sex scenes are solid but all the foreplay and blowjob action is pretty underwhelming. That's partly because of her lackluster performance. She has a few nice moments here and there but overall she lacks enthusiasm, boasts weak facial expressions and just really feels disconnected from the whole film. It's very unfortunate that this is seemingly the end for Aoi. Instead of going out with a bang, she ended on a whimper.
5. MIAA-021
"Today We're Gonna Tweak Your Nipples To Oblivion!!"
Starring "Kurea Hasumi and Yuu Shinoda"
Kurea Hasumi and Yuu Shinoda have shot several films together by now with mostly positive results. However their first outing was anything but and stands as one of the most disappointing 3P releases in recent memory. The general focus here is on nipple play and of course threesomes. One of the major reasons why this film is such a disappointment is the first aspect there. Personally I don’t care for nipple play at all but I can live with some of it here and there. However with MIAA-021 the ENTIRE video centers around it. So as you’d expect much of the attention is on the actresses licking, kissing and playing with the actor’s nipples throughout. It just doesn’t do anything for me and is incredibly dull.
Not to mention it drags out the scenes and runtime as well. But surely there’s gotta be some great interaction between Kurea and Yuu right? Nope, not at all. They don’t do anything to each other or even really acknowledge one another. During all the threesome scenes instead of groping or kissing each other they instead just pinch the dude’s nipples. I get that the male actor is the main focus but it feels like a massive wasted opportunity. While it falters in those aspects the acting between them is solid and they look amazing too. But the general theme and action is a complete miss and ruins any potential this film had. Thankfully this pairing went on to shoot several more films that were much, much better.
4. MKMP-322
"Insertion And Removal Pat! Finest Shaved W Soap"
Starring "Ruka Inaba and Kokoa Aisu"
This film had so much potential. Pairing two thick and petite actresses together in Kokoa Aisu and Ruka Inaba should make for a great time, not so here. The premise is straightforward with Ruka Inaba and Kokoa Aisu serving you as they play soapland girls. Now where does this film go wrong? Well for starters the pacing is incredibly slow. The scenes are dragged out with a vast amount of focus on lotion play, kissing and grinding. It results in an extremely bloated runtime of 4 hours. It's all very repetitive which is partially attributed to the bland and reused settings. Also it's all shot mainly in POV but unfortunately there's some angles and shots here that really break that immersion.
Performances are another negative as the pair do not interact with each other whatsoever. The chemistry between the two is completely non-existent. Ruka does a fine job in her solo scenes at least but Kokoa is very underwhelming. Her energy is lacking and she feels disconnected from the whole video. If the acting and premise are a letdown then surely there must be some great threesome scenes at least, right? You would be mistaken. There's one threesome scene for the entire video and it's a joke. Ruka is the only one engaged while Kokoa sits off to the side doing nothing. Ruka does indeed look amazing but beyond that there's little reason to give this a watch. Don't be tempted by the smoking hot cover.
3. EKW-022
"We'll Lend You The Key To This Masochist Man's Apartment"
Starring "Kaori"
I’m generally a big fan of this premise that tasks actresses with visiting “fans” in their homes and performing with them. At the same time Kaori is one of my favorite actresses so this should be a no brainer. However it misses the mark by a longshot. The premise is pretty typical of the genre with Kaori meeting “fans” and engaging in sex acts with them all. The one unique aspect being that Kaori plays a more dominant role here, more so than usual. On paper this sounds amazing but unfortunately the execution is flat out terrible. It is especially frustrating as Kaori looks stunning and even wears a few really nice outfits. She also delivers a relatively solid performance to boot. But that's where the positives end I'm afraid.
The main issue with this film is by far the action, or lack there of. It boasts a 120 minute runtime but only features 5 minutes of actual sex. That’s right, 5 whole minutes at the very end is all you get. The rest is just a glorified handjob and blowjob scene respectively. The action is so underwhelming and dull as it completely ruins any potential this film had. Doesn’t really matter if Kaori looks good and her acting is excellent if the sex is virtually non-existent. Plus the pacing is quite slow as well. EKW-022 is such a colossal waste of time. This is easily one of the worst fan meetup films I've ever seen. Stay far away from this one.
2. MIDE-295
I and J Big Tits in a Double Harlem Fuck!!
Starring "Julia and Ayumi Shinoda"
This may be the most infamous video on my list. MIDE-295 generated a lot of hype before it's release but ultimately failed to deliver in almost every way. This film came out in 2015 shortly after MIRD-150 so here I was thinking we’re in for another masterpiece potentially. But unfortunately it wasn’t even close. There’s no central plot to speak of here as it’s just various scenes, each with a slightly unique theme. Some examples include a hostess club scene and a soapland inspired scene. Now let me just say that this film isn’t a complete train wreck by any means and does in fact have some decent scenes. The first scene which is a pov sex scene is fantastic and their acting is excellent too. And there’s a solid paizuri scene as well. Another positive that they look amazing here as they’re both in superb shape.
One huge negative is the lack of interaction between the pair. They rarely, if at all, acknowledge each other here. No groping, kissing or anything of that matter. It’s such a giant wasted opportunity. The other huge blunder is the rest of the action. Some of it is just straight up awful such as a scene where they get their tits covered in pink lotion and tittyfuck a dildo together, in the dark. It's completely asinine and a massive of waste of time. Besides that there’s a bland outercourse scene and an awful, messy group sex scene at the end. It gives you brief moments of promise but those are short-lived. There's one or two scenes worth watching here but the rest is complete rubbish. In the end MIDE-295 falls short of it’s incredible potential and leaves you wondering what could have been.
1. JUFD-553
"Strongest Big Black Cock Orgasms!"
Starring "Yumi Kazama and Azumi Chino"
By far one of the biggest bamboozles I’ve ever come across in JAV. That’s one hell of a cover and the general premise sounds amazing. Azumi Chino and Yumi Kazama together in a threesome interracial film. Personally I’m a huge fan of this genre so I was pretty excited to check this one out. However that excitement quickly fades away into massive disappointment. The plot is pretty straightforward as it's really just about Azumi and Yumi having sex with some black guys. Beyond that there's no other plot elements. Right off the bat the two of them look outstanding. They're in near perfect shape and sports some very sexy outfits. Also they are very enthusiastic and have great chemistry together. Both are equally engaging and seem to have a lot of fun here. They make for one hell of a dynamic milf duo.
Technically even the action itself is fantastic with plenty of threesome sex scenes and some great position variety. And it's over 2 and a half hours long so there's plenty of action to be had with little filler to get in the way. So now you're probably wondering "what's the issue?". Well the glaring problem is that all the dicks are fake. That’s right they actors use a huge fake dick complete with fake cum. It’s mind boggling why Fitch went this route when they’ve done real interracial films before. It absolutely ruins the video. It’s hard to enjoy it when they’re just fucking dildos pretty much. Had this featured actual real sex with real dicks this would be one for the ages but instead it ends up as one the biggest and most puzzling disappoints ever.
Comments
"2 hour movie blown up to a 3"
This is what I've called "scene creep" in reviews for some movies we show on ZENRA. While 2 hours is still the norm for a JAV movie, I think many can be trimmed to 90 minutes with better editing. More is not always better.
As for the criticism, any time we (be it the blog or ZENRA proper) nitpick a movie or even an actress, we try to focus on things that can be improved in future releases. So if an actress appears to be phoning it in, she can up her acting chops by perhaps taking actual classes. And if a studio seems to have issues with production elements like bad lighting, that's also something that can be fixed in the future.
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