Panking's Top 5 Worst Rara Anzai Movies
Rara Anzai is one of the most polarizing actresses around. Some hate her and some love her. Either way she's definitely no stranger to underwhelming videos. She's definitely had her fair share of terrible films but which ones are truly the bottom of the barrel? Narrowing this down to just five was actually a little challenging as she's had plenty of mediocre films throughout her 3 career names. However I truly believe these to be the worst of the worst. Now without further ado, lets begin.
5. SSNI-777
"Furious Second Helping Piston-Pounding Sex"
While this isn't the most offensively bad film of hers it's the best example of how little effort S1 will put into her films and the result is a boring, dry and generic excuse for a video. S1 opted out of a plot for this video as the entire focus is really just on Rara Anzai and some over the top stimulation via some vibrators or sex. It's an extremely lazy and half-baked premise devoid of any real effort. Rara Anzai isn't the best performer anyway so her reactions to all this stimulation is underwhelming to say the least. It all makes for a very bland and forgettable experience. Alas maybe you'd think the action is at least solid but nope. Half of the scenes are just toying/masturbation scenes that are very lackluster due to her weak performance.
They drag on for way too long and feel like a complete waste. And as far as the actual sex scenes go they're fine at best. They're nothing to write home about but do provide some enjoyment. As a whole the production quality feels pretty cheap with super bland settings and average at best lighting. And of course as I mentioned the pacing is pretty bad too. Lastly we have her performance which is just another typical phoned in performance from her. She gives minimal effort overall and barely engages with the actors. Not to mention her facial expressions are terrible and seem to consist of one emotion. I will say that Rara looks fantastic here and her body is in perhaps the best shape of her career. But that's not nearly enough to save this lazy, uninspired and utterly dull film. The cover is stunning and draws your attention but the video will nearly put you to sleep
4. SNIS-594
"Sloppy and Passionate Kissing Drool, Saliva, and Dripping Pussy Juices"
When it comes to JAV kissing and licking are absolutely not my cup of tea. However even if you're a fan of it, this film will still leave you disappointed. The main focus is indeed on kissing but the film does incorporate somewhat unique scenarios to each scene. Some include her playing a teacher role seducing a student and sharing her first kiss on a date. The scenes are very basic and the "plot" is mere window dressing to try and make the scenes more unique. Now you're potential enjoyment of this film largely depends on your feeling towards kissing as every scene shares a major focus on it. Unfortunately it really drags out the scenes and it doesn't help that her performance fails to impress.
Rara's acting here is quite subpar. Overall she's not very convincing at all and besides for a few sparing moments here and there is quite submissive. Not to mention her facial expressions are super mediocre too. Now I will say that the action all around isn't too bad. It boasts 3 full sex scenes and a blowjob scene. However the scenes are still quite vanilla and don't really stand out from one another. And again if you're turned off by lots of kissing then you'll have a hard time getting into this(no pun intended). Production wise it's all relatively decent enough with no real glaring flaws besides reusing the same setting twice in a row. Still though I struggle to think of any real reason to watch this unless you have a major fetish for kissing.
3. SSNI-177
"She'll Cum With Just Her Nipples! Titty Sensuality Stimulation An Aphrodisiac Oil Massage Parlor"
What happens when you take a boring and vanilla premise and pair it with a lackluster performer like Rara Anzai. Well you get this giant gaffe of a video that completely missed the mark. The central plot for this film revolves around breast stimulation which mostly devolves to using a variety of toys on her nipples or groping her tits. We all know Rara has one of the best set of natural boobs around so this shouldn't be that bad but somehow it is. It's all very dull and gets repetitive super fast leading to a massive letdown of a film. It all starts with the action which is quite mediocre. There's two sex scenes that are average at best and two terrible paizuri scenes.
The main issue is with the focus on breast play and stimulation which severely bloats the runtime and drags the scenes out to an absurd degree. As a result the pacing is terrible all around. Not helping in any way is her acting. She delivers a painfully dull performance devoid of any real enthusiasm which makes those stimulation scenes even harder to sit through. If her performance was at least somewhat convincing it'd be tolerable but not so. From beginning to end it's an utter drag. There's really nothing redeeming about this film with it's lackluster action, slow pacing and extremely tiresome setup.
2. SNIS-824
"49 Days With RION In Private Photo Sessions, Together With A Professional Pickup Artist Who Is A Master At Picking Up Girls"
Quite possibly the dullest video of her entire career. SNIS-824 is a complete snooze fest from start to finish. If you're looking for a cure for your insomnia then this film will knock you right out. The premise involves Rara going out on a date with a supposed pickup artist. After a few dates they go decide to finally have sex. The rest of the film features several more sex scenes. This film takes a more "voyeuristic" approach to it's filming as all the date scenes are shot via secret cameras. Actually some of the sex scenes are shot with static cameras too. Now right off the bat this particular premise is very niche and only appeals to a small audience. Especially if you don't speak Japanese as an entire HOUR is just her on a date with nothing happening.
It's extremely dull and is about as entertaining as watching paint dry. This leads me to my next issue which is the pacing. This film is a staggering four hours long which is absolutely unnecessary. There's so much time spent on building their "relationship" that it drags out the runtime to an insane degree. Doesn't help that the action is terrible too for the most part. While there are plenty of full sex scenes they are very vanilla, plain and quite a few are shot via static cameras so your view of the action isn't always the best. And lastly her performance isn't anything noteworthy at all. She's bland, has one facial expression the whole time and lacks enthusiasm. This video is painfully boring and definitely isn't worth your time.
1. SSNI-053
"3D Titties Anime and Live Action Rion!!"
Just what the hell is this? What was S1 thinking? By far my least favorite film from her entire library. Now what I can gather from the plot it seems to be based off a doujinshi or be inspired by elements of one at least. Rara seems to play a volleyball player who get hypnotized by some strange man creeping around the locker room. Of course he seizes the opportunity and uses it fuck her. There's not a whole lot going on plot wise to be honest. It's pretty forgettable all around. Now what exactly lands makes this film so bad? Well for starters the film is a meager 90 minutes long from start to finish. Somehow though S1 manages to squeeze 3 scenes out of it.
Another factor is that all the cumshots are completely 100% fake and very over the top. It certainly fits the theme and style of the video I suppose but I'm personally not a fan. But by far the biggest issue with this film lies within it's production values. They use one single location for the entire video. They shoot in the same locker room for all 3 scenes. Plus Rara wears the same outfit every time. Also the lighting never changes either and even then it's too unnaturally bright for my tastes. And of course her performance is as mediocre as ever. This is one of the cheapest excuses for a film I've ever seen. S1 must have shot this on a budget of $100 or something. By far her worst film to date and a huge blunder.
Comments
I don't think the author hates Rara. I certainly don't. The problem is that she has killer looks from head to toe, but seems to always dial in her performances.
I definitely don't hate Rara, far from it. But no one is safe from shitty movies. Even one of my all-time favorites, Hitomi Tanaka, whom I made a similar list for. Everyone releases a dud once in awhile.
By Fried Chikan @ December 22nd, 2021
By Oppaira @ January 2nd, 2022
By Oppaira @ May 26th, 2022