Anton went to a talk hosted by Shimiken!

Alright, so, everyone here has probably seen a JAV video with Ken Shimizu, AKA Shimiken. The man is world-famous, and he’s been a staple of the JAV industry for two decades. The guy’s a big deal, and on October 1st, I got to meet him face-to-face.

I was initially reluctant to do so, and, I confess, tried to wriggle my way out of going at first. Partly because I wasn’t sure if I could handle another Tokyo trip (5 hours on train is exhausting), but more because I wasn’t sure if I would get along with Shimiken. If you’ve seen him in public appearances, you’ll know that his persona is that of a class clown. The kind of guy who is constantly joking and never takes anything seriously, who can be equal parts entertaining and annoying, because his joking manner doesn’t have an off switch.

I’m a very serious person. Seriously. I’m also very, very tall. And while the staring and comments from most people in Japan are of the innocently intrigued variety, sometimes I get gawkers. The kinds of people who look and laugh at me like I’m a monkey at the zoo. I’ll be honest with you, when Zenra told me about this talk Shimiken was giving in Tokyo that was open to the public, images flashed before my eyes of Shimiken capering about and jeering at my gigantism, and I gave several lame excuses before Zenra finally reminded me of what a good opportunity this would be for our site. Sometimes in life we have to work with people who get on our nerves and push all our buttons. That’s just how it is. But if I could get a good article out of the experience, and our site could network with the Shimiken, well… I could put up with a few hours of being gawked at.

Still, even knowing what this could do for the ZENRA site, when I arrived at the venue I was nervous. Combine that with an early breakfast that day, which was now ready for release, and I found myself quietly asking where the bathroom was to the lone staff member present. I and another attendee whom I’d shared the elevator with were the only guests there, and Shimiken had not shown up yet, but there was no clock in sight, and so as I sat on the toilet, trying to finish my business as quickly as I could, I had no idea how close I was to the start time of the event. This of course only made me more nervous, which made completing my task more difficult, and as I sat on my porcelain throne, hearing more attendees trickle in and chat through the walls, I ruefully chuckled at the irony. Here I was, about to meet a man famous for what he eats, and I would most likely stumble into the talk late because I was busy producing his favorite food.

Eventually I was able to find release, and the fumes of my deed were still present in the air when I went over to wash my hands. Like most bathrooms in this country, this one was incredibly small, to the point where if someone opened the door while you were at the sink they would slam it into you. As such, I was glad when I heard a polite knock, and I replied “Just a sec!” before drying my hands and stepping out of the way.

That was when Shimiken entered, already a great shock. But then, even greater shock, when he saw me his reaction was “Oh! Hello. Huh, you’re quite tall.” It was the most normal reaction I have ever encountered concerning my height. Initial surprise, followed by quick readjustment, and a noticing of the facts without a reveling in the spectacle. I was flabbergasted. Then, after I made my way out the exit and Shimiken made his way into the stall, I wondered if he could still smell the leftover fumes from my work. Perhaps Shimiken is a connoisseur of such scents, like how a sommelier is intimately familiar with the subtle differences of aromas found in vinic varieties.

The venue in question was a gambling parlor. We were using it before its usual business hours, thus having the entire space to ourselves, but said space was still very small. There were only four dealer tables in the whole room, with us centered around one, and you could see the entire bar and kitchen behind the counter, it was so tiny. Despite this size though, it seemed to be a well-regarded establishment, if the trophies and posters for poker tournaments proudly displayed throughout the place were any indication. Also, it’s not like Shimiken would have chosen an obscure hole in the wall to give a talk. He didn’t even have security present, an absence I found all the more notable given how famous he is. Other features of the place were the carpet flooring and the really amazing chairs. Like, they were basically the fancy leather chairs you’d find round a rich person’s dinner table, but they had wheels, like office chairs, so in terms of style, comfort, and mobility they simply couldn’t be beat. Also, there were massive tv displays to serve as scoreboards stationed throughout the room. No clocks anywhere though. We had to keep checking our phones and watches.

As for the makeup of the guests, we were a much more varied bunch than what I usually see at JAV fan meets, looking like regular folks you would find on the street. And the women present not only seemed delighted to meet Shimiken, but they clung to his every word. I confess, the rapt awe with which the female attendees gazed upon Shimiken made me think “Ah shit. Do I stare like that when I meet actresses? I hope not. Oh that’d be mortifyin’.” One attendee, near the end of the event, after she’d had so much drink her face was flush and she could barely stand, ended up staring at me with the same rapt attention (she was amazed by my height), but I for my part was was honestly a bit worried for her, given how she’d consumed far more than anyone else there.

Still, that was one of the selling points of this event. The staff member would prepare us drinks, and since the only fees were for attending, we could drink whatever we wanted in whatever quantity we wanted. For health reasons though, I only rarely drink, and I never day-drink, though I was impressed by the bartending skills of our host.

Once we were all present and had our beverages, the talk began. Shimiken started by asking if I was friends with Joey the Anime Man and I laughed. Boy, I wish, but no, I’ve never even met the man. But with the ice broken that way, we began our self-intros. Like a classroom on the first day of school, information was delivered in a fairly straight-forward manner. Name (Anton Algren), where we were from (the middle of nowhere), why we wanted to come to this event (for you, dear readers), any Shimiken films we were especially fond of (nothing can beat URE-034 for me, and even with the huge number of films he makes Shimiken still remembered that one fondly), and a question we wanted our JAV star to answer.

Then, after we’d all asked our questions and Shimiken had jotted them down, the talk began in earnest. Further surprising me, not only was Shimiken rather relaxed throughout the whole event, but he spent most of the talk dispelling fantasies and misconceptions the guests had about the adult industry. I’m pretty sure we’re all smarks here, we all know about kayfabe in porn, so I don’t think any of the information Shimiken exposited would shock or surprise our readers. But given how so much of his public persona is as an oversexed, overgrown juvenile, it was a surprise hearing him so casually explain that yes, when we say sex work is work we don’t just mean it deserves to pay a living wage and protect its employees, but that it’s work, not play. It’s fun work oftentimes. I don’t think Shimiken would be as satisfied with his life if he worked any other job, but at the end of the day it’s a job with all the annoyances that that entails. There are days when you just don’t want to go into the office (or take a trip to Tokyo), but you do it anyway because it’s your job, and hey, maybe the day won’t be as bad as you fear.

Also, surprise surprise, a lot of the wild and amazing things you see on the screen are the result of movie magic, with Shimiken elucidating some of the more interesting tricks he’s used in his videos. I won’t detail them for you here, because I don’t know how much he wants them to get out to the general public. But needless to say, when I watch JAV in the future, I may find myself chuckling as I notice a new aspect I’d been hitherto unaware of.

This leads to my own question, for the sake of you, dear readers. I’m sure a lot of you dream of someday coming over to Japan and becoming a JAV star. There are fewer male actors than Bengal tigers in this world, after all, and even fewer of those are reliable stars like Shimiken. So it’s not that far-fetched to assume a foreign man could eventually become the next generation’s Shimiken. (For those of you who watched Joey’s video, Shimiken laughed heartily at this talk as he described the FLOOD of DMs he received after that interview, all from aspiring foreign men with dick pics of varying picture quality.)

As such, I wanted to know what a foreign fellow would need to do to become a top JAV star. Shimiken chuckled, and then hit me with a question that made everyone smile. You wanna do it yourself? I laughed and replied in the negative, listing some of my reasons. But Shimiken, to my surprise, had counterpoints for every objection I raised, though he ultimately respected my decision.

Before anyone types a baffled comment asking what’s wrong with me, not wanting to be a JAV star, let me just say that no, it’s not that I’m a eunuch. Believe me, I would absolutely love to have sex with any number of the beautiful actresses that line the DVD shelves of your local Kaitori Max. But it’s no big secret that AV sex and private sex are two very different things. Indeed, Shimiken spent most of the talk explaining this point. Of course, even knowing that, I would still be interested in trying sex on camera, just to see if I can do it and to have that life experience.

However, ignorant as I am of the adult industry, I know enough to know that being a JAV actor is not a profession one can try on and then move on from easily. No matter what level of success you achieve in the industry, once your face and dick have been plastered across the internet, that is what you will be known for forever. Job opportunities will disappear and your reputation in polite society will be marred. And if you can make it out of the crucible to become an A-Lister like Shimiken, it’s probably worth it. But that’s if you make it. There’s no guarantee that you will, but even if you don’t get to reap any of the rewards, you’ll still be marked for life. For every person who has gotten everything they ever wanted out of JAV, there is someone who deeply regrets their entering, and those who can only keep going through drugs and drink. Still, if you really are determined to come to Japan and become the next Shimiken, you’re really willing to take the plunge and commit to this job, here are tips from the master himself.

1 - You need some sort of government ID

Don’t worry, this doesn’t have to be a JAV work visa. It just has to be some form of identification from the Japanese government, like a Japanese passport or driver’s license. So, for those of you curious, yes it’s possible for you to come to this country via the English teaching route, get a driver’s license and permission to do work outside your job (don’t tell them what work you’re planning though), and then work in JAV that way. However, even if you’ve got that out of the way, there’s another major barrier you’ll need to overcome as a foreigner.

2 - You need to speak Japanese

This seems so obvious it doesn’t need an explanation, but I suppose there are still some people who think they’ll be able to get by in the industry with only English. You can’t. If you’re shooting JAV, you’ll need to be able to read contracts (so not just Japanese, but Japanese legal jargon) and give informed consent prior to every shoot. This is standard practice all over the world in adult entertainment, so don’t think this is some unique manifestation of Japanese bureaucracy. Alan Watts once said that foreigners don’t have to go through the same red tape as regular Japanese folks when trying to get their foot in the door to Buddhist monasteries, for the simple reason that if a man has taken the time to learn Japanese and fly all the way over to the country it means he’s probably serious about becoming a monk. So similarly, if you show up at auditions with a proper ID and native-level fluency in Japanese, that will already make you stand out from the crowd and appear quite valuable. However, there are also certain physical requirements.

3 - You need a penis that won’t break the tiny actresses

Yes, you, like many of the dick-pic-sending dudes who flooded Shimiken’s DMs, may assume that having a BWC or BBC or whatever other terms used by you foreign fellows who think you’re inherently better lovers than Japanese men will be some sort of major advantage in the JAV industry. But you forget just how tiny some of these actresses are. Despite what porn may tell you, having a big dick can actually cause your female partner great pain, especially if she’s on the smaller side. It’s better to have a penis that is comfortable for the actresses, and that means being average or only above average in size. Something you have to remember is that pixelation doesn’t just make the actor’s equipment blurry, it can be used to make it look bigger, thus giving the audience what they want to see (big dicks) while not compromising the actresses’ comfort. Sadly this is one of those things that you either have or you don’t have. But other things you can at least train for. Such as…

4 - You need to cum quickly

You may have trained yourself to last longer in bed, through edging and other techniques, and you may assume that, given how long adult actors have to stay hard, that this will help you in the industry. However, given how JAV shoots are like football games, where more time is spent preparing and planning than properly playing, there’s not a lot of time where you can relax enough mid-coitus to properly ejaculate. As such, when the director tells you to cum, you may not be able to. Therefore, being someone who can cum in five minutes will allow you to perform better than someone who needs at least 20 minutes to jerk off every day. And for those of you who think it’ll be easy to cum that quickly when you’re working with such beautiful actresses…

5 - When you start out you won’t get to work with beautiful actresses

A-list adult actresses do not work with new male talent. It isn’t worth their time or energy. If you can prove your mettle as a male performer and successfully shoot with C and D-list actresses, you’ll probably be regarded as reliable enough to work with the likes of Eimi Fukada or Yui Hatano or AIKA. But until then, you’ll be doing the jobs nobody else wants to do. Like Shimiken, you might start out doing gay for pay, or working with actresses who don’t bathe regularly, or having to put up with any number of bizarre and beleaguering scenarios. Thankfully you will not have to do any of the more beastly acts that once went down in JAV years ago, but it’s still going to be a crucible where you prove that you’re not here for a glorified party, but here to work. This is sex work, after all.

6 - But it’s still fun

Yes, JAV is a lot less fun than the fantasy would lead you to believe. But it is still fun, at the end of the day, and there’s a reason so many people stick around in it. Holly Randall calls adult the black hole industry, because you have to move faster than the speed of light to get out of it and make a life for yourself in another industry. But to some people, like Shimiken, JAV gives them a more satisfying and self-actualized life than any “normal” job could offer. And that’s basically what you really need to think about when you consider whether or not you should enter JAV. Is this something where you really would not be happier doing anything else?

As I said, if it were possible for me to simply dip my toes into JAV, make one movie, have that life experience, and then go back to a normal life, I’d certainly like to try that. But this isn’t something one can dip one’s toes in. It’s something where once you start, you don’t have many choices beyond continuing. And when you start, it will not be a 24/7 wild sex party. That’s why you absolutely, positively need to know exactly what you’ll be getting into before you try it, because if you don’t, you may come to deeply regret your decision to enter this industry. Or not. I don’t think you can really know for certain unless you have a serious conversation with someone who’s already made a place for themselves in JAV.

Before we all left, we were allowed to take pictures with Shimiken. Naturally, because of my height, with the enthusiastic encouragement of others present I stuck my arm out to see if Shimiken could fit under it. And funnily enough, not only could he, but he was just as amused as everyone else by this fact. When you’re my height, you meet a lot of guys with Napoleon complexes, the kinds of guys who perfectly fit the “little birthday boy” meme. And yet, despite being well over a foot shorter than me, Shimiken never once came across as insecure or self-conscious about his height. Having far more wealth, fame, and sex than I could ever dream of probably helps, but I was really glad Shimiken took things as well as he did.

When I was first asked to attend this event, I was worried and reluctant. But after it was over, I was really glad I went. It was a wonderfully cozy, chill event, and I learned quite a lot. So I guess the lesson of the story is, when your boss tells you to do something, maybe it won’t simply be not as bad as you feared, but it’ll be better than you imagined.