Panking's Top 10 Most Disappointing Movies Part 2
I'm back at again with 10 more of my personally selected most disappointing videos. Now right off the bat when I say disappointing it doesn't mean the film is bad or a complete waste. Often there is still some enjoyment to be had from many of these titles. However, they all failed to live up to the potential they had. Perhaps it's lackluster acting, mediocre sex, terrible production values, or some other factors. Overall there can be many elements at play for disappointment. With all that out of the way, I'll be listing my top 10 disappointments starting from least disappointing to most disappointing. Let's kick it off with...what?? Anri Okita? Yes, even the infallible legend isn't safe from disappointment.
10. PPPD-451
"My Girlfriend's Older Sister Tempts Me With Her Big Tits"
Starring "Anri Okita"
This one is especially frustrating. On paper, this should have been a slamdunk. Anri Okita starring in one of my favorites series of all-time? However much like the rest of the videos on this list, the execution leaves something to be desired. Anri Okita seduces her younger sister's boyfriend by teasing him with her big tits. This leads to them having sex behind her back and trying to keep it a secret. A pretty straightforward premise that usually leads to some amazing risky action and thrilling scenes. But overall the scenes are a bit underwhelming. For example, the final sex scene has next to no risk involved at all. There's a paizuri scene that is missing that key aspect too. Also, the first scene with them fucking in the car feels contrived and unnatural.
And when the film does incorporate risk, it feels too outlandish. Such as when Anri is fucking him right in front of a glass door while her sister is literally a few feet away with a perfect view into the room. I understand you can forgive some sense of realism for JAV but this is just too silly. Besides some flubbed execution in the action, the rest of the film is actually quite solid. Anri delivers a fine seductive performance while looking absolutely stunning and the camerawork and lighting are superb. All in all, still a great video but this had the potential to be one of her best films ever. The bar is set so high with this series and this entry just barely makes it across as it stumbles with the most important element of all, risk.
PS: I actually own the bra Anri wears in the first scene here:
9. JUY-335
"Madonna Exclusive No.2!! Yumi Kazama In A Visit To Fukuoka A Nookie Galore Fan Thanksgiving Day!!"
Starring "Yumi Kazama"
I love myself some good fan thanksgiving so upon discovering Yumi Kazama shot it a film within the genre I was quite excited. But that excitement quickly faded away to mass disappointment. As expected the plot revolves around Yumi treating some lucky fans to various sex acts. Sometimes in a private location and other times inside an adult DVD store. This video has the right ingredients on paper to be a success but it falls way short of that potential. The only positive I can say is that her performance is relatively solid all around. Unfortunately, that's where the praise ends. I hate to say it but her body has seen better days. She's pretty out of shape here and definitely starting to show her age.
Worse than that though is the incredibly lackluster action and production values. While there are several sex scenes none of them are that great or memorable thanks to mediocre lighting and camerawork that do nothing to bolster the scenes themselves at all. The pacing isn't too great either as the total runtime is a meaty 3 hours with many scenes being too long for their own good. But one of the most irritating aspects has to be the censoring. They film a scene at a DVD store where they blur out literally everything but Yumi and the actor’s bodies. I understand why that had to do it but it utterly ruins the scene when you can't see 75% of the screen. Just a horrible decision all around leading to an immense disappointment of a film.
8. T28-515
"Sex with a Beautiful Big-Bottomed Girl"
Starring "Noa Aikawa", "Aya Sazanami" and "Remi Hosisaki"
I really wanted to like this film. Aya Sazanami and Noa Eikawa are favorites of mine so I was excited to give this a watch. But unfortunately, it didn't come close to meeting my expectations. It's a very simple concept focusing entirely on the action with little plot to speak. Of course, that's not inherently a bad thing at all and doesn't prove to be an issue with this film. Now you may be looking at the cover and saying, "How could this disappoint? You got three petite big ass actresses all together.". Now before I dig into why it's on my list let me first say it's not all bad here. Their performances are all-around solid and they look terrific. Plus the wardrobe variety is quite nice too.
Now the reason this film is so incredibly disappointing is that this is a classic case of cover bait and misleading the viewer. Tell me, one look at the cover and you'd expect some group action right? Or at least more than one scene of them altogether. To my utter disappointment, there is one single scene of them all together and it's at the very beginning. It gets worse as it's just a mere 20 minute long glorified handjob scene. The remaining scenes feature solo one-on-one sex scenes. They're never together again at all. Now those sex scenes aren't too bad really and are still enjoyable. But that's still not enough to redeem the massive bamboozle this film pulls.
7. MIRD-113
"L-Cup and J-Cup Together at Last! Hitomi and Ria Sakuragi Have the Biggest Tits in the Industry!"
Starring "Hitomi" and "Ria Sakuragi"
Just to be clear this video isn't all bad. It definitely has some nice scenes and moments. But overall with this stacked pair, the video failed to live up to its lofty expectations. What you see is what you get regarding the premise. There's no central plot at all beyond just...big tits. Some scenes incorporate a slight theme such as them playing nurses but not much more than that. Now one look at this cover and you would probably expect some juicy eye candy. Thankfully the film wholly delivers in that department. They each sport some super sexy outfits that show off their massive breasts quite nicely. And there's some fantastic paizuri as well along with some decent threesome action. However, the rest of the film leaves a little something to be desired.
While the film gets off to a great start after a strong paizuri and threesome scene, it soon starts to lose momentum. It then shifts to some solo paizuri and sex scenes with each actress that is rather underwhelming and forgettable. It features another threesome sex scene at the end that is solid but still pales in comparison to the earlier scenes. In addition, the lighting is mediocre as it does a poor job at highlighting their bust and curves along with being too bright at times. Acting is a slight letdown, as well as their solo performances, are lackluster. Together their chemistry is relatively fine but it sometimes comes across as artificial. All around still an enjoyable flick but leaves you wanting more.
6. IPZ-435
"Home Invasion - Hot Stepsisters Get Ravished"
Starring "Kaho Kasumi" and "Yui Hatano"
A collab between Kaho Kasumi and Yui Hatano? How could that possibly go wrong? A video with this lovely pair should be a no-brainer but instead falls way short of expectations. The plot is pretty self-explanatory as they play a pair of stepsisters who fall victim to their male friends. There be a bit more to the plot than that but given my bare understanding of Japanese, that's all I can surmise. That's all you really need to know anyway. Now on the positive side, they each look pretty nice and both deliver pretty fitting submissive performances. Unfortunately, that's where the highlights end.
For starters, the production values are a complete joke. Every single scene features the EXACT same room and lighting. I understand they're being kept within their home but at least move into the kitchen or living room. As such the lighting is the same across the board too. It all makes the action incredibly repetitive. The film also suffers from one of my biggest pet peeves in JAV, messy group sex. The last scene is a group sex scene that is all over the place and unfocused. And all this is wrapped up in a premise that is certainly not for everyone and one that will likely turn off a majority of fans. There was so much potential in a Yui and Kaho collab but this is absolutely not the way to do it. And unfortunately, that window is now closed.
5. SNIS-684
"Raw Tits For A Cherry Boy"
Starring "Kirara Asuka"
I really wanted to like this film more than I did. The fan thanksgiving genre is a big favorite of mine so I was very excited to give this a watch. But I came away feeling very disappointed. The premise is simple enough as it invites several "virgins" to lose their virginity with the one and only, Kirara Asuka. Sounds pretty nice on paper but the execution leaves something to be desired. Now, this is where I usually talk about the positives but there's really not much to highlight, to be honest. Kirara looks pretty great overall and some of the action is decent but that's about it really. The rest of the film is an underwhelming watch.
One of my biggest gripes here is the lighting. It's way too damn bright and harsh often looking like the sun went supernova outside. Not every scene is like this but 3/4 are and it really hampers the satisfaction of the film. The next misstep is her performance. She's very hit or miss with her acting. At some points, she's not too bad and her bubbly personality gets a chance to shine through. However, at other times she's a bit of a dead fish with lackluster enthusiasm and dull expressions. Definitely not what you want from a film like this. And lastly, the action is just as hit or miss as often it can be really slow and lacking in any real intensity. Plus all the guys cum inside a condom. Very lame. Such a great concept that ultimately goes to waste.
4. MKMP-327
"Overwhelming Titty Pressure! I-Cup & I-Cup Titties"
Starring "Nanami Matsumoto" and "Monami Takarada"
That's a pretty nice cover, right? Very eye-catching overall. Unfortunately, the video falls way short of matching the greatness of this cover. For the most part, the video doesn't feature any real central premise at all. It's mainly just a series of vanilla sex scenes. Definitely not a bad thing though. Once you get into the film though you realize just how utterly disappointing it really is. Now I will say that both Monami and Nanami look fantastic here. And...well that's about all I can praise really. Perhaps my biggest issue is the action. There are only 4 scenes here with a total runtime of 2 and a half hours. This leads to the pacing being very bloated and the scenes dragged out unnecessarily.
Another problem with the action is that only 2 scenes feature the pair together. And one of those scenes is a bland handjob scene. Two of the other scenes are just solo sex scenes that are okay at best but very, very forgettable. And when you finally get to the long-awaited threesome sex scene at the end, it's really just average. It takes too long to get going and there's next to no interaction between the pair whatsoever. No kissing, groping or touching of any sort. There's just no chemistry there at all. As such the performances are lackluster across the board. Technical aspects are weak too with bland set designs and average lighting. Just a complete waste from top to bottom. This film had potential but completely squanders it.
3. AVOP-246
"Bit Tits Maniacs"
Starring "Julia"
This video was Oppai's entry into the 2016 AV Open contest. For those unaware, the AV Open contest is where studios submit a single video to compete with other studios with prizes awarded to the winners. Typically this is where studios would put forth their best effort and really go outside the box. This led to some really ambitious and memorable titles throughout the years. So there is a high expectation with AV Open releases and Oppai's effort in 2016 was an absolute joke. There's no unique premise here at all. The whole video just focuses on Julia's boobs through very vanilla scenes. Vanilla isn't always a bad thing mind you but when we're talking about the pedigree of the AV Open there are much higher expectations surrounding these films.
I can't stress enough just how utterly dull this film is. It's comprised of about 8 scenes in total with several paizuri and sex scenes. However in-between are scenes featuring Julia getting her breasts fondled and played with which are a complete waste of time. The production values are nothing special either with underwhelming lighting and bland set designs. Couple all this with a pretty below-average performance from Julia and you got one of the worst AV Open films in recent memory. It's so painfully forgettable with no reason to revisit it at all. This film is the equivalent of a saltine cracker. Bland, dull, and not satisfying in any shape or form.
2. UMSO-002
"Man And Woman Have Wet, Impregnating Sex After Drinking Stimulants For Horses"
Starring "Kurea Hasumi"
This video had so much potential. It really could have been one of her all-time best videos given this genius setup but instead falls flat and delivers a completely unremarkable experience. The premise revolves around Kurea taking some horse stimulant pills and becoming super horny and losing control of herself. It's a simple enough plot that should be a no-brainer given Kurea excels in these types of roles and having her go into full nympho mode just kinda writes itself. However, it instead misses the mark completely. The only real positive aspect I can mention is that the action is decent at times. Some of the sex scenes do provide some enjoyment for sure. But beyond that, there's nothing else I can praise sadly.
Something I'd never thought I'd say is that one of the biggest flaws is actually Kurea's acting. You'd think she would dominant in this type of role/setup but instead delivers a lukewarm performance. She still has a few shining moments here and there but largely fails to impress. She's quite submissive at times for one and secondly she never really goes all out like you would expect. Just not super convincing overall. In addition, the sex as I mentioned earlier is fine but nothing more as it's quite vanilla and unmemorable. Production values are bland too with lackluster settings and lighting that do nothing to stand out. This is truly underwhelming in every sense of the word and one of the biggest letdowns I've ever seen.
1. MIRD-140
"Lord Of Walkure × MOODYZ Collaboration"
Starring "Ai Uehara"
How did this go wrong? You cast Ai Uehara as a succubus-type role. That setup alone has 10/10 potential. But what follows doesn't even come close to meeting those high expectations. From what I understand the plot is based on "Lord of Walkure" which is an eroge style browser video game developed by DMM. Ai Uehara seemingly plays a succubus character who drains the life-force out of a guy by fucking him silly. Then he ingests some potion, gains magic powers, and proceeds to take his revenge against her by fucking her brains out. It's pretty over the top but is acceptable given the source material. Unfortunately, the film takes this promising concept and completely squanders it. First off the runtime is less than 90 minutes long. That's it. This may be the shortest video I can ever recall seeing.
There's so much story potential here that it easily could've filled the standard 2 hours or hell even longer. Right as the video starts to get going, it's over essentially. This leads to there being only two scenes. Both are sex scenes which is a good thing but it's still just barely enough to whet your appetite. Even then the sex isn't too great with overuse of fake cum and some lacking position variety. Plus the technical aspects leave a lot to be desired. The pacing is poor and the lighting could be better for sure. Also, the actor in the last scene has spots painted all over him which are really unappealing and kinda ruins the scene for me personally. I get that it signifies his transformation but it could have been conveyed differently. All around the execution of this film just is completely underwhelming. Moodyz rarely ever misses this badly but damn did they whiff on this one.
Comments
Hard agree on Kurea's UMSO-002, she's way better than that and t he setup provides the perfect out for her to be better. Yumi Kazama's entry, ONGP-037, sets the bar really high for this type of content (I highly recommend that one). Maybe Kurea today would do a better job but that one just isn't good.
Also agree on Anri Okita's GES entry. It's underwhelming in what should have been a great video. To some degree that isn't her fault because, as you mention, some of the scenarios are just too outlandish. I ignore when sex sounds (aside from moaning) get a little loud but sometimes that series has risk that is so unrealistic you can't even enjoy it. Also, like you said, the bar is set really high for that series. It has three of my top 10 videos of all-times so anything mediocre feels quite bad by comparison. Anri's is in the bottom third in my opinion, something you wouldn't expect from someone of her caliber.
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