Top 10 Worst Films of the Past Five Years
Not all JAV is created equally of course. Some films just massively miss the mark due to a variety of different reasons. It could be a nonsensical plot or perhaps the actress delivering an awful performance. Or maybe the production values are just way off. It could also be that the action is just boring and dull. For all these entries it's mostly a combination of several of these factors. The list will be counting down in order from the least egregious to the single worst film down at #1. Which film will take home that top spot? Only way to find out. Let's begin!
10. CJOD-317
Starring "Nina Nishimura" & "Yuri Oshikawa"
"I Was Hemmed In On Both Sides By A Double Dose Of Big Titties And Erect Nipples, And Unable To Move, I Was Compelled To Creampie Over And Over Again By These Voluptuously Busty Babes"
I'll admit that this film isn't quite THAT bad per se. In fact, it's got quite a few things going for it. But all that is mostly rendered useless to the absolutely asinine theme at play here. There's really not much going on in regards to a general plot. The overall focus centers on the pair playing a more dominant role while they, of course, wear masks. I cannot stand videos using these ridiculous masks. Who the fuck thought these were a good idea? How can anyone enjoy them? It's creepy and weird ruining any possible satisfaction. For example, their overall appearance. They both wear some really sexy outfits and their big tits look great. But then you look up at their face and, ugh. It's so incredibly off-putting.
Another major reason why the masks theme is awful is it restricts their performance. They at least boast great enthusiasm and do actually interact a little bit with each other but you can't see their faces so it takes their facial expression completely out of the equation. Now for what it's worth the action isn't all too bad featuring three sex scenes and a group blowjob scene. Unfortunately, that scene ends in a weird manner with the guys cumming on their masks. But the sex itself is pretty enjoyable with a nice position variety and intensity. But the pacing is out of whack as the first two sex scenes last about an hour each. If it weren't for the masks, this film wouldn't be that bad. But unfortunately, it massively sucks most of the enjoyment out of it.
9. HMN-185
Starring "Mina Kitano"
"At The End Of A Month's Abstinence... There Is A Nakadashi That Blows Your Reason. 208 Times Cumming, 3426 Vaginal Spasms, 27142 cc Of Erotic Juice, Climax Special"
Honnaka is usually a pretty reliable studio when it comes to quality. And while the production values themselves may be solid, there are aspects here that will leave you scratching your head for sure. The setup revolves around Mina abstaining from sex for a month while documenting it on camera. At first, she's only able to watch a couple have sex before she's finally able to join in herself. It's just not a premise that I care for especially since we know it's likely staged as she's also shooting once a month for Fitch as well so no way she's actually restrained from sex. Now for what it's worth the action here isn't too bad complete with three sex scenes featuring Mina and one where she's merely a spectator.
Now that scene, in particular, is just...I have no words. She just sits and watches while crying. Yes, she consistently tries to get the actor's attention while making sobbing faces and shedding tears. It's very offputting and not enjoyable in ANY way. I have no idea what they were thinking. The rest of her performance isn't much better. She has a few nice moments occasionally but overall she's not her usual self and is instead very whiny and making constant frowny faces. On a more positive side, the technical aspects are mostly fine with adequate lighting and good camerawork besides some minor static camera use that's not too egregious. But the nonsense plot and lackluster performance from Mina combine to make for a very unsatisfying watch.
8. SSIS-312
Starring "Unpai"
"Unpai"
This is easily one of the most overhyped debuts ever in JAV. Regardless of how she's doing now, this film was a complete joke not living up to expectations placed on it by S1 at all. The big notable aspect of Unpai was that she was a massive star on TikTok with over 3.7 million followers who wanted to partake in JAV to "save men" which just makes absolutely no sense. S1 built up her debut to extreme heights but it failed to deliver entirely. Personally, I just loathe the whole Tiktoker and influencer craze. But regardless, S1's trick did the work because this film garnered a ton of hype and sales. Anyway, as a debut film itself, it's pretty awful.
One of the biggest issues is that there's only one sex scene and it's not until the very end. Making matters worse it's over an hour long and painfully dragged out. Beyond that, there's an utterly terrible paizuri scene as her chest isn't really well equipped for it. Plus, her performance is mediocre as well. Lastly, there's a blowjob scene that is average at best. The film is nearly three hours with only three scenes with any action in it. The rest is just focused on interviewing her and tickling her tits. It's incredibly boring. Now don't get me wrong I think she looks decent all around but this film is a horrible debut. It's good to hear that she's on track now currently but this video makes a very weak first impression.
7. DOA-020
Starring "Ruka Inaba"
"Purunpurun Bursting Tits K-Cup Goddess Descent"
Some of you may recognize this film as it was number one on my Top 10 Most Photoshopped Covers Vol 2 post. I won't repeat myself but the shopping on this is absolutely ridiculous. Regardless, I'm here to mainly talk about the film's quality. There's a reason it lands here on my list. It's a terrible film and a waste of time. I'm not entirely sure what the exact premise is here but it would appear that Ruka mainly takes on a more submissive stance. This leads me to her performance. She isn't completely awful but she's pretty forgettable. There are a few moments where she's expressive and energetic but more often than not she's reserved to being whiny and playing a sub role. Not my cup of tea.
But even ignoring her performance, the film is still very mediocre starting with the action. It consists of two sex scenes, two paizuri scenes, and a simulated sex scene that ends up being one of the dumbest scenes in any recent JAV film. It's just Ruka dry humping the air for about 20 minutes. I realize it's done sometimes so you the viewer can place yourselves in the scene but half the time it's not even shot in POV rendering it completely pointless. The other scenes are fine at best but the production values do little to help boost them. The worst offender is the drab lighting that really dulls out the final sex scene. Do not be fooled by its tantalizing cover. It's painfully forgettable even for the most diehard of Ruka Inaba fans.
6. SSIS-203
Starring "Rara Anzai"
"Her Powers of Reason Fly Out the Window. Celibacy x Addiction to Love Potions. Abnormally Strong Climaxes"
This may be the most mundane and pointless film from Rara and S1 that I've seen in a long time. The plot, if you can call it that, centers around the themes of "love potions" and sustaining from sex for a long period of time. It's all just an excuse for S1 to be as lazy as possible with their execution. It's extremely vanilla and is nearly a direct copy of SSNI-777 which was released a year prior. Rara Anzai needs some sort of plot to work off of because otherwise, she is boring as hell if I'm being honest. It shouldn't come as any surprise to hear me say that her performance is painfully dull. She's incredibly whiny while boasting lackluster enthusiasm across the board. I'm not expecting much to begin with but I'm still disappointed.
The underwhelming action doesn't do the film any favors either. There are just three scenes in all here with two being sex scenes and one being a mind-numbingly slow masturbation/toying scene that is just dreadful. It's so ridiculous and over the top with its overuse of vibrators. And the sex scenes don't fare any better as they're super bland and uninspired thanks to the nonsense premise. It doesn't help that the pacing is super slow with all the teasing and foreplay. And topping it all off is some drab settings that only make the film even more monotonous. Rara has had some bad films over the years but this one ranks near the very bottom.
5. JUNY-042
"At Last The Ban Is Lifted! Pleasurably Anal-Fucking A Climactic Plump White Explosive Ass"
Starring "June Lovejoy"
First-time anal films in JAV are rarely any good. They're usually full of whining and near crying from the actress on top of being painfully boring. While it's not the worst anal debut ever, it's easily among the worst, especially with the potential it had. Just like with any anal debut there's no plot whatsoever. The main focus centers around her ass with lots of anal play and teasing. One of my biggest issues with this film, and other anal debuts, is the abysmal pacing. The runtime is a meaty 2 hours and 40 minutes consisting of three scenes. Yes, you heard me right, just three scenes. And the action isn't even close to being good enough to justify this ridiculously slow pacing.
You have to endure an hour of foreplay before any real action begins. And once it starts it's incredibly bland. After that, you're treated to a whole 30 minutes of dull anal play. It does end with a potentially nice threesome scene but that's underwhelming too due to limited use of DP. It's pretty worthless anyway due to the heavy censorship reducing your view to a mess of pixels. Such a waste of time honestly. June's performance doesn't really help either as she can be pretty whiny and submissive which falls right in line with this type of film. This film just furthers my belief that anal in JAV is usually complete garbage. It's rarely good and this film is evidence of that. Don't even bother.
4. CEMD-133
"Age Difference Lesbian Sex Revealed! A Woman Gets To Know Her First Experiences Of Lesbian Pleasure And Enjoys Wild Non-stop Orgasms In Bed!"
Starring "Alice Kisaki" & "Chisato Shoda"
What an absolutely random pairing. I was highly skeptical of Alice and Chisato together but gave it a fair shake regardless. Turns out my suspicion was warranted. As you can probably guess there is no real plot to speak of here. Instead, it's all about Chisato giving Alice her first lesbian experience on camera. Now for me a lesbian video's quality largely depends on the chemistry between the duo and I must say, It's pretty much non-existent here. Chisato is okay at best but Alice is relatively stiff throughout and seems a bit uncomfortable at times. Not a surprise given Chisato is old enough to be her mama lol. This lack of chemistry really destroys any slight potential the film had.
The action is about what you'd expect from a film like this There are only three scenes in all not counting a BTS scene at the very end. All the scenes mainly just consist of the usual kissing, groping, and fingering with the final scene featuring some strap-on use. The strap-on scene isn't too bad but it's too brief with the other scenes feeling very forgettable thanks to the lack of proper chemistry. The production values as a whole are fine at best with decent lighting and camerawork plus the added BTS feature at the end is kinda neat. CEMD-133 is by far one of the worst lesbian films I've seen, maybe ever. I struggle to think of any real redeeming qualities here. It's a complete waste of time.
3. EYAN-183
"A Pair Of Married Women In Sexless Marriages Swap Husbands. Super Heavyweight Colossal Tits And Huge Asses On Both Sides To Work That Cum Out During A Nympho Harem Threesome"
Starring "Maria Nagai" & "Miina Wakatsuki"
I was reasonably excited for this one when it was first released but it under-delivered in nearly every way possible making for one of the worst films in years. Now despite the title implying there's a plot here, there really isn't. The film just focuses on these two having sex with a few guys in a hotel room. It's extremely simple which isn't always a bad thing but the execution here is downright tragic. The production values are easily the worst aspect of the film and really ruin any potential it had. The settings are extremely bland as each scene takes place in nearly the exact same dull white room. Making matters worse is the flat lighting that is once again the same throughout every single scene. It's all so repetitive.
But that's not all as the camerawork is equally awful. The shots will either be way too close or taken from confounding angles, usually from down low which gives you a poor view of the action. As a whole, the production feels very amateurish. The action itself is just average at best. It features two threesome sex scenes and a paizuri scene across a two-hour runtime which results in some lousy pacing. Especially with the paizuri scene considering its 40 minutes long and ends with a fake cumshot. Also, most of the loads here are sadly fake. And to top it all off there's barely any interaction between the pair although individually their acting is at least fine. Overall, it's a complete dud marred by some horrible production values making for a bland experience.
2. ONSG-049
"A Big Tits Delivery Health Call Girl Double Huge Tits Cast"
Starring "Shiori Tsukada" & "Yuria Yoshine"
What a colossal letdown. The film boasts a stunning cover that definitely grabs your attention. Unfortunately, the cover would up being the best aspect of the film. There's really no plot to speak of here. It just focuses on Shiori and Yuria having sex inside a hotel room. It's incredibly basic and straightforward with no interesting aspects at all. That's not always a bad thing as vanilla films can still be great if everything else is executed well enough. Sadly, that's not the case here. It boasts four scenes in all consisting of two one-on-one sex scenes, a threesome paizuri scene, and lastly a threesome sex scene. Featuring the pair together for only half the film is such a waste especially when one scene is just a mediocre tittyfuck with a fake cumshot.
The solo sex scenes with the two are painfully forgettable. The threesome sex scene isn't much better as it's a little too brief, features barely any interaction between the pair, and is once again just really dull. It doesn't help that the production values are painfully underwhelming too. The hotel room setting is drab and the pacing slow but the lighting is worst of all. In one scene it's way too bright and in another, it's incredibly bland and flat. It doesn't highlight their curves at all. I can't forget to mention how lackluster their acting is too as a whole. Don't be fooled by its tantalizing cover, the film doesn't come close to living up to it. This is such a waste of a good collaboration. Watch MIAA-537 instead for a much better Shiori and Yuria experience.
1. MIAA-516
"Sudden Street Corner Nipple Restraint. I'll Restrain You So You Can't Move And Play With Your Nipples!"
Starring "Kasumi Tsukino" & "Mei Satsuki"
This film was my first exposure to Samoari and it's one I won't soon forget as it's my #1 pick for the worst film in recent memory. It's a perfect embodiment of all of Samoari's signature traits all rolled into one utterly atrocious film. The plot is your standard Samoari fare tasking the two actresses here with picking up "random" guys off the street and engaging in a variety of sex acts with them. Most of the time this revolves around nipple play of course. So first off I'll talk about a positive which is their performances. The acting from the pair here isn't too bad really and they share solid chemistry. That's about all I got as the rest is pretty shit starting with the most glaring issue, the production values.
The lighting is pretty mediocre throughout with some scenes being too bright and saturated while others are too dim. The set designs are absolutely absurd. Some examples include a classroom with an outdoor vending machine for some reason and another is a room with random junk in it while the guy sits in an actual shopping cart. What the hell? The camerawork is super messy with some static shots that are incredibly worthless providing you with an awful angle of the action. The sex itself can be decent at times but these production issues ruin any sort of enjoyment on top of being loaded down with ridiculous nipple play. If you need a good example of why Samoari is a terrible director, here you go. It's complete garbage.
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