Summertime Perverted Swim Meet First Half
Timing by Patonyan
Translation by ZENRA
(Continue to Second Half)


How can a JAV movie that seemingly have everything going for it also make me so frustrated?  Because, really, SUMMERTIME PERVERTIME SWIM MEET is pretty much a great title.  Dare I say it:  it may be one of the best orgy titles DREAMROOM has ever shot, but as a subtitler I never knew how lucky we've been to show so many movies with someone like RIRI KOUDA handling hosting duties.  Not only is she beautiful, but she's a smooth, clear talker.  Even that weirdo who looked and probably smelled like an ashtray from the bizarro world uncensored private parts guessing movie was better than what we get here.

But we'll back to that later.  I'm not going to spend the first part of a review for an otherwise fantastic movie trashing it.  That'd be silly.  SUMMERTIME PERVERTED SWIM MEET may be everything lacking in the duo of V&R movies from back in the day, but done outdoors with better camera gear (by far!), and a whole lotta sex!  It's uncensored, done raw, and yes, the creampies are all real.  Yes, yes, instead of 30 women we get 6, but I still think they did a great job.

Even the games are great.  We don't get as many (due to not one, but two orgies happening!), but one of them is ingenious and I hope we see it done again in a future update:  three actresses stand behind a curtain while observed by the other three attempts to guess which of them is actually being sexually pleasured.  One, you see, is being 'air-groped'.  It was a riot seeing the camera go from the view of the bikini-clad judges to the actual participants and seeing the actor fake all his actions.  It almost gave off an old school campy vibe that was more common way back in the day.

The play both outside and later on in that huge studio house was spot-on.  I'm pretty surprised they made such a mess of the pool.  Usually JAV makers avoid even using it (see ORGA which has filmed on that set many a time) to avoid all the extra cleanup fees.  SUMMERTIME PERVERTED SWIM MEET sees DREAMROOM taking no cuts.  We get great games, pretty though relatively unknown actresses, and some of the best uncensored group sex I've ever seen all in one 150 minute package.

Now going back to that complaint:  for the love of all things holy, if any JAV maker is reading this, please never cast Abe-chan as a host.  I think the guy is very charismatic and is totally fine when playing actual roles, but him playing himself in a role that requires clear leadership is a subtitling nightmare.  For starters, he speaks incredibly fast and in and out of some country bumpkin dialect.  He injects a poor choice of English (with pronunciation to boot) at any time he sees right.  He's all around extremely difficult even for a Japanese person to understand and we do apologize now for some of the guesstimation needed to caption his bouts of aural creativity.  All other actresses and women are spot-on, but Abe-chan?  Ugh...

Score:  4.5/5

Pro's:  For pool games, orgies, and real creampies done sans mosaic, it doesn't get much better than this.

Con's:  Abe-chan as a host.  If you can hire six JAV stars, then you can hire one more to stay clothed and handle hosting.