What if Tsubasa Miyashita Was My Girlfriend?
Timing and Translation by Patonyan


WHAT IF TSUBASA MIYASHITA WAS MY GIRLFRIEND?  Honestly, she wouldn't because I'm way beyond my gyaru obsession.  How about you?  End of review.

Kidding!  Let's see where this pretty decent JAV "what-if?" pans out.  After all, it's all about possibilities and who knows, maybe the younger and dumber version of me who once upon a time lusted after Japanese women with artificially tanned skin and nails extended beyond any respectable length could've ended up dating someone like TSUBASA MIYASHITA.  That would make for fun yet odd dates; foreign guy holding hands and doing other lovey-dovey couple things with the self-proclaimed Queen of Ageha.  Gyaru-o would gawk in shock, grannies would also gawk in shock, my mother would never understand, and the relationship itself would collapse after the first date or we'd be happily ever married with her making me type this lovely paragraph while looking over my shoulder.  Who knows?

What I can say is what we get here in this fun DREAMROOM release all about being a lucky guy dating a gyaru with an insatiable need to have sex almost whenever and wherever.  It's not going to win any awards, but certainly is better than it has any right to be.  Gyaru had their own JAV boom and this was shot right around when that was peaking.  Perfect timing and a title that is not only mosaic-free and stars a big name at the time, but filmed really well.  Great lighting, great sound, great visuals, and zero condoms.  That makes me happy even though my tastes have shifted to the older and more traditional.

There's a few faults along the way.  Admittedly, I don't think I'll ever enjoy any adult film that combines food and sex.  I remember that scene from everyone's favorite 90's sitcom:  You don't want to cross those two types of enjoyment!  I can't find it sexy; some may so it's less of a nitpick about the movie itself and a declaration that WHAT IF TSUBASA MIYASHITA WAS MY GIRLFRIEND features elements I don't find ideal in my JAV.  The lighting is brilliant and intense.  We see all of TSUBASA and I mean ALL.  Gyaru can look great and she shines here as if she was a star in the early stages of going nova.  No condoms, no pull-outs, all fun.  TSUBASA may never have been my girlfriend, but as I finish writing this review, I look back upon my life choices and wonder if there were missed opportunities to experience what happens here in real life.