More Holiday JAV Ideas - Part 1

I’m feeling sacrilegious. So, given how much fun it was to come up with all those Christmas-themed JAV plot ideas, I thought I would try my hand at some other holiday-themed JAV film premises. I partially expect in this article to offend at least one major branch of religion out there, though I sincerely hope that that isn’t the case. This is all meant in good fun, and I hope that even the most devout of our readers can appreciate the humor in this article. And if not, well, you have my apologies. But with that out of the way, let’s get started!

In our next scene our hero finds AIKA, body bare but face still masked, waiting for him at the gates of an opulent mansion. At her command the gates open, and she leads our man into the building, where an orgy has begun. He stares, amazed at the sight, before turning back to where AIKA was. But she is no longer there, and our man gasps, surprised, darting his head about trying to find where she could have gone to. Before he can begin his search in earnest though, he is greeted by two lovely ladies who proceed to show him a good time, while all around them the guests are deep in the depths of debauched decadence. The threesome is thrilling, and when it’s over our participants are all satisfied. But then, as our man sees the masked AIKA on the balcony above, gazing down at him with her expressionless vizard, he feels a stirring of desire spring forth from his breast and his loins once more, and he dashes up the stairs to catch her, as she runs off again, laughing all the while.

Our man finally finds himself in a room filled with women all wearing the same mask as AIKA. But with no other way to tell them all apart, what other option does our hero have but to feel their pussies until he finds the one belonging to AIKA? He plows his way through countless women, until he realizes they all seek to defeat him with their overwhelming numbers. But he holds out, and makes all the ladies cum before he finally finishes, and slumps to his knees. He’s exhausted, he can barely stand, but he will not rest until he finds AIKA once more. And as the ladies, impressed by his prowess, help him to his feet, they direct him down to the wine cellar, where they assure him he shall find the woman he seeks.

So down, down our protagonist plunges, deep into the darkest corners of the house, until he finds a beautiful posterior whose waist is wrapped in plaster. From the other side of the wall, AIKA’s voice tells him that she’s stuck, but our man is suspicious. Is this really the AIKA he’s been searching for all night? Only one way to find out. And so he proceeds to fuck the ass he’s found, his face lighting up with joy as he realizes that he’s found her again! And that pussy is just as sweet at when he first tasted it. Our man is in heaven, filled with ecstasy, so enraptured with pleasure that by the time he notices the bricks that have formed behind him, it’s too late. Only when he finishes does our man realize the work being done behind him, and he turns in shock to find AIKA standing on the other side, a hole just big enough to show her face in the wall. Our man looks down and sees the posterior has disappeared. Only another brick wall can be seen. Through whatever witchcraft, AIKA has ensnared our friend in her trap! Dashing to the hole in the wall, our man begs AIKA for one last reprieve, one final request. Please, can he just see her face? AIKA obliges, removing her mask… and revealing the skull that lies behind it! That’s right buddy! You thought this was a Stanley Kubrick joint, but it’s actually a Dario Argento feature! With a Roger Corman budget befitting its Edgar Allan Poe trappings. Our man screams, as the footage cuts, and our epilogue opens with the notice that a year has passed. It’s a new year, a new carnival, and a new man is now dancing in the streets when he sees a mysterious masked woman. It’s AIKA again, and as her gaze meets his, we know all too well what fate is in store for the poor, unsuspecting fool.

Unfortunately for our lad, he just can’t get this bonnie lass out of his head. And he didn’t even get her number? Tch, well, nothing to do about it now. Our man seeks solace in the bed of massage parlors, which will take up the events of our second scene, but it’s just not the same!

Our lad curses himself for his foolishness, and, heartbroken, goes to the banks of the river to meditate, like the monks there. And once there, he is met by visions of the Buddha, there to give him some life advice.

“Ay Chip!” The Buddha calls everyone Chip. “Why’re you so upset over some gal you only just met? You gotta give up such earthly sufferings and stuff man, live off the land and be a monk. C’mon, it’ll be fun. Just like in The Boxer’s Omen!”

Our lad Chip is tempted, but then suddenly the Goddess Khongkha shows up in this dream world (Yes I know Khongkha is the goddess of the Ganges River specifically, but, look, religion has a funny way of evolving beyond its source material) and tells Chip not to listen to that stuffed-shirt Stone Buddha.

“Look, if we’re talking about Hong Kong movies here, Chip, right now you’re in a similar situation to yer man in Green Snake. So what are you gonna do? Cut off a vital piece of yourself because it’s easier to love the divine than make yourself vulnerable to another person? Or are you gonna try and find this gal again and embrace eroticism?”

“I… I…” Chip grits his teeth and clenches his fists and stares resolutely. “I choose sex!”

“Good on ye, lad!” Khongkha congratulates him, and they have sex in the dream world, because why not? Are we allowed to do that? I hope so.

But anyways, after that sidestep, Chip wakes up on the riverbank, when who should he see on the other side but the bonnie lass again! Their eyes meet, they light up joyfully, and they plunge into the river to reach one another like in Forrest Gump (not a Hong Kong movie, but still). And then they have sex again, but by the end of it Chip puts a ring on it, and they live happily ever after. The end.

“Jamie!” Mizuno cries upon first meeting him. “Where ARE your trousers?”

“Och, we dinnae need such things in the Highlands,” Jamie says, and he punches the redcoats who were menacing our Mizuno before whisking her away and showing her his manly manhood (the kilt making such a display all the easier). They have sex, and even if Mizuno feels naughty about doing it (she does still have a beau back home), Jamie’s sweet virgin cock is just too wonderful for her to say no to. And so the morning after Mizuno feels torn between these two men. What will she do?

With Jamie’s aid, Mizuno makes her way to the Highland witch, who can send her back home, but just as they’re at the base of the hill whereupon the portal to the future lies, the redcoats from before show up, led by their captain.

“Run, lassie!” Jamie cries heroically. “I shall buy ye some time!”

“But Jamie-!”

“Nae buts!” Jamie unsheathes his sword (which, y’know, your average Scotsman totally had back then) and pushes Mizuno away. And as she runs for the portal, Jamie is subdued, but the redcoat captain doesn’t finish him off.

“Come on, now, you know what this is,” the captain says. “The ladies watching will get a kick out of it, so we’re doing this shit.”

“Och! Occccch!” Jamie moans as the redcoat captain does his thing. “This feels wrong. Yet feels right.”

Yet just after the fucking for fujoshi finishes, Mizuno appears and pushes the redcoat captain away. She’s come back for Jamie! Oh, such a noble lassie, she! And she pulls the brave Highlander along with her while the redcoat captain struggles with his trousers. A fatal error, that. Y’see Jamie doesn’t have this problem, what with his lack of trousers and all, and this is what allows him to get a headstart on the redcoats. But anyways, Mizuno and Jamie go to the portal and hop through it together, and run into Mizuno’s beau, who is a bit surprised by stories of time travel and sexy Scotsman, but quickly becomes accepting after a quick explanation.

And then all three of them have sex and resolve to be a polyamorous triad. This will, of course, be difficult, and require lots of communication, not to mention the burden placed on Jamie by having to acclimate himself to a world about three centuries ahead of him. But hey, this is a smutty fantasy. Let’s not ruin it all by thinking of the actual practicalities of polyamory. 

I suppose, if we’re on the subject of smut for the ladies inspired by Doctor Who, I should craft a narrative based around The Stranger by Portia Da Costa (Paul McGann would certainly be well-received by the local ladies if he ever got big in Japan). But this was supposed to be tied together by holidays and festivals, not popular British television shows. And it would be rather crass of me to do nothing but lift the plots of other works for my own ideas, even in the name of parody. No, I’ve got to have some originality to these prompts, so in the next article, the story ideas will be completely original. Promise. Nothing comes from nothing, as Parmenides would say. But he was a philosopher, so what would he know? No, no, for Part Two of this article series, I shall refrain from shameless ripoffs, even if I really, really want to partake in them. Honest. Really. Okay, maybe I’ll indulge just a little. You’ll have to read the next installment to find out.