Oppaira's JAV Plot/Theme Tier List - Part 2 - A Tier
Hey guys, Oppaira here, back at it for part two of my plot/theme tier list. This one will be a bit longer since there's a lot more that isn't quite the premium tier that S is, but all the same I hope you enjoy it. let's dive right in!
This famous series from Wanz Factory, which I've dubbed 10 Minutes, is basically a one-of-a-kind plot. Other studios have done entries here and there but nobody does it like Wanz Factory. The premise is really simple: you give an actress 10 minutes to get the guy off with anything but intercourse, and if they lose he wins the jackpot. Wanz Factory's reward has always been creampie sex, others have done different things, but Wanz Factory's creampie sex has always seemed like the best one, everyone wants to creampie their favourite actress, right? I've always enjoyed this series and I think a big part of it has always been how it can bring out the best in actresses. It gives actresses complete control on how to perform in terms of technique and personality. You really don't need to script it the way other dramas would be and there's no prescription for how an actress is to act. Sometimes you get surprisingly good performances out of bust performers like Aimi Yoshikawa's (the personality she took was surprisingly hot).
One of the biggest detriments to this, and the reason why it's only an A tier, is that there are always actresses flubbing it. Even actresses I expect to completely crush it like Akari Niimura or Yuria Yoshine can show up and be bad or even downright disastrous. The concept needs not only a lively performance but proper technique and when they focus too much on winning the competition and not about their great performing skills you wind up with a hot mess. We know it's fake through and through so just give me the good stuff. I just can't stand when an actress starts doing handjobs and goes serious mode like she's playing for a national championship.
Bukkake is a fun one, except maybe if you're the chick getting covered in spunk. Or maybe they'll fake it too and then who cares lol. But in all seriousness, a properly done bukkake is great to watch. There has always been something about a hot girl getting covered in man juice. The way it defiles her and makes her feel like a piece of meat for your pleasure, damn is it hot. There have been plenty of great bukkake series over the years too so it's not like there's a shortage of great stuff to look at.
Bukkake is one of those things that are easy to miss, just like the guys blowing their loads. It's so easy for them to miss her face, fail to cover certain parts, or even rose you get cum dodgers who clearly hate it. I'm sure the director tells them they can wash it off but you can't wash off the memory. On top of that some directors fall into a trap of "as long as they cum on her face my job is done" and the videos end up a little too bland. Maybe if you added some cum as seasoning it wouldn't be so bland. I digress but there are way too many bad bukkake videos for it to be S tier as much as I do think some videos absolutely can be.
Creampie? A plot? A theme? I know some of you will disagree and I know some of you will be very happy to see it here. Yes, I do believe it can be utilized as a plot/theme, there are plenty of videos premised around exactly that. The first one there is literally just Hibiki getting non-stop creampied or the second is a stepmom video where creampies are the main focal point driving the narrative. Creampies are indeed awesome, there's just something so satisfying about busting your nut inside her. It's almost like that's where it was meant to be deposited, not on her face like silly bukkake. There's all sorts of ways to enjoy it conceptually as well, like maybe she'll get pregnant, maybe you're hedging that your swimmers are better than the next guy's, or maybe she's old enough she can't even get pregnant anymore.
One of the reasons creampie doesn't stand out is that it's so easy to do nothing and use it as a crutch. It can be the entire video if you do it right, it can aid a video if you do it at least decently, but often videos will just slap it in there and call it a day. No, I don't want you to just do one creampie in a random scene and call it a day. No, I don't really want to see the same guy pump out 10 loads in the span of 30 minutes, who does that? That even highlights the biggest challenge today which is that they're close to all fake. Now, I'm not the kind that says no thanks to a video when it's fake, but you better believe that real creampies are miles better.
Girls just look better when they're in shape and exercise videos really do a good job of highlighting that. Let's face it, most actresses have fantastic bodies, better than the average person. Sure, there are some plus sized actresses, but Julia or Touka Rinne really look quite a lot better than the average chick. Get them in a nice sports bra or some yoga pants and hot damn does it look nice. Gym themes are quite nice when they take you to a setting where the eye candy is there but nothing ever happens. Like you go to the gym and there's a hot girl in a hot outfit but nobody's ever going to have sex there, unless of course it's porn. And if you look at stuff like in the final video listed there where you have gym equipment being used in the middle of it, hell ya.
While I certainly do like the theme quite a bit I do find it sometimes has this challenge of being a bit one dimensional. When you go to the gym, sure, great, but sometimes it's just a bland video doing yoga at home. Also as I mentioned above, not every girl looks great in gym clothes. With a nice, tight body, sure, when the clothes sink too far into your belly, no thanks. It's still a great theme, don't get me wrong, but the kind where you do need to be a little bit picky.
Bet ya didn't expect to see futanari here. Yup, your pal Oppaira is a fan. I've seen quite a few videos over the years despite the genre being relatively small. I think Japan's censorship comes in clutch here as I don't have to worry so much about it obviously being fake. Yeah, sure, the cock is fake, but when you censor it during penetration I can happily ignore it and beat my meat to the pixelation instead. The simple bottom line about futa is that you get all the good of lesbian and straight sex in one. It's basically straight sex except you can look at the one penetrating and admire their beauty. Especially when you get someone with big tits, yes, for the love of god yes.
Let's be clear about one thing, futa only works when it's guy on futa, futa on female, or futa on futa. The minute the guy starts sucking her off or gets penetrated by her I'm out. I think most directors dodge this like the cum dodgers from bukkake but it certainly does happen from time to time. This is almost entirely the source of all the mediocrity of the genre, that and the fact it's rarely ever done. Give me more of that lesbian stuff and I'll be a happy camper.
Who doesn't love a good nurse video? I do, I definitely do. Nurse is one of those themes that works itself because you don't have to do much. The focus shifts almost entirely to the aesthetic: the scenery and the outfits. Plots and interesting spins come secondary and to a large extent you're okay with that. When they come out in their nurse outfit while the patient is in bed with a couple of broken arms you know it's going to be a good time. Hospitals are also interesting settings because they have so much variability. Like sure, there's a bed in your room but what if the room is double booked and now you're being sneaky so nobody else finds out? Or maybe you step up to use the washroom and she comes to help. There's just so much to do and see!
Just as much as nurse is a good theme it's equally an opportunity to be lazy. I often lament about how big titty milf actresses are dull because you don't need to be interesting with tits like that. Well the same is true about nurse videos and directors, they just give up. Makes you wonder if directors pick this theme when they're having a bad day or something. Like it always is just super annoying when they phone it home and it happens more than I would like. You've got so much opportunity to do stuff like an operating room, exam room, lobby, hallway, and then nope, we're just going to use the one bedroom. Maybe they're double or triple booked and can't use the rest of the area, I don't know how else to explain some being way too lazy compared to what we used to get. Maybe I'll be naive and think they're filming at a real hospital and have better things to use the space on so at least I won't feel bad about the videos being bad.
Schoolgirl has always been an awesome theme and I've always enjoyed them. Who doesn't want to see someone with their tits bursting out of their uniform or their skirt hiked up. I didn't personally go to a school with uniforms but there's just something about a girl in uniform. It's also a bit funny because Japan can get super strict on their school regulations because they don't want horny guys to have improper thoughts, well maybe if the outfits weren't so damn cute I wouldn't! I think some of the value in schoolgirl videos comes from it being at the school. I say it a lot that fun settings are nice and you get so much variety at school. You can go to the classroom, the gym, the washrooms, the hallway, the lockers, it all works so well.
I think for me I look at schoolgirl and go "yeah but what if they were the teacher" and that sort of says everything I need to know. Like sure schoolgirl videos are great and all but what if the hot female teacher came onto me. Then I get kind of sad that I'm settling for the next best thing. Like yeah okay fine I'll take the girl in a skirt I guess. It's like if you end up at Burger King when what you wanted was McDonald's. Like yeah I'll take it, I'll be happy, but secretly I wish it was the other. And I guess that's just sort of also part of me wanting more mature women than schoolgirl offers. Like sure all of the above women are beautiful and curvy but my general preference is for someone a few years older where schoolgirl no longer visually makes sense. There's also the glaring problem that they often just put on the uniform and let it carry. Half of the value comes out of it so they figure they might as well skimp on the other half. No sir, do not skimp on the setting, please no. But at the end of the day things still generally work out and you can easily enough dodge those ones.
I know what you're thinking, isn't sports and exercise like the same thing? Yeah, kind of, but sports themes usually have enough of a different spin to them. While exercise videos tend to focus on weight training, cardio, and yoga, sports are focusing more on actual sports. You can see all sorts of sports, like lacrosse, baseball, volleyball, and cycling, as pictured above. There's also this entire sub genre of sports videos where the actress plays the club manager, and instead of getting down and dirty she just has on some bloomers and fucks the team. Either way things look great visually and I'm all about the good visuals. Especially since they often look so much different than what you'd otherwise see, it really feels like a much different experience.
Sports themes are a bit double edged in that they can sometimes be their worst enemy. It's hard to do right because you have to balance sexual and non-sexual things. I do sort of want to see them playing sports and all but let me tell you, that baseball outfit is scoring negative points. When you're wrapped three levels deep in hockey gear, no thanks. But as long as you keep it to the more basic ones that give you easy paths forward it can be pretty nice.
It's the little things in life that make us happy, right? Videos go hard when an actress does little things here and there. Swallow here, deepthroat there, or wet the bed a little. Squirting videos take it up another notch by putting it as the sole focus of the film. Honestly, just like deepthroat videos, when there's this much squirting you can really enjoy the entire thing. Normally I look at videos and get a bit dismayed that the action is repetitive or they skimp out on some of the good stuff, but when the actress is squirting every couple of minutes you're just glued to the screen waiting in anticipation. It's like these little climaxes that bring you immense satisfaction and the fact that there are so many of them. What's also nice about it is that you can insert it into any video without too much effort. Yeah, squirting videos tend to be premised solely as a squirting video, but even Alice's wild outdoor adventure shows you a glimpse of what it can be.
Squirting is in A tier because it's just not as good as deepthroating or other minor fetishes. Like sure, I enjoy it, but I don't go absolutely crazy for it like some. I'll watch a solo squirting video and enjoy it but it isn't something I typically crave like I do deepthroat or other fetishes.
Everyone loves a good stepmom video, right? Stepmom is the king (or perhaps I should call it queen) of that space. Sorry stepmom, I broke both my arms and can't go to the bathroom. I don't think that's ever happened to anyone but everyone knows exactly what it is. Most of our stepmom videos aren't like that but there are certainly some wacky things out there. Stepmom is such a great concept because of all the ways it can be done. Maybe the husband is a scumbag, maybe he's too old to satisfy, maybe the stepmom is just too hot. I find it's just wrong enough that we shouldn't but also not in the realm of okay we really shouldn't. It's really kind of the best of all worlds.
I find the flexibility is one of the biggest challenges. Unlike something like nurse or schoolgirl where you have clear indicators like a school/hospital or an outfit, stepmom has infinite variety. Sometimes it's done really well but other times they're just really lazy about it. As long as she's technically the stepmother nothing else matters, and my answer is the same, technically yes but not really. Things matter and especially when you don't follow as closely along with the plot you really need something a lot easier to follow and more interesting. That's not particularly difficult to find with the abundance of stepmom videos but it's annoying to see it done poorly.
If there's one thing I say about porn it's that it has to look visually appealing, and what could be more appealing than a hot lady drenched in sweat? There's something so carnal and visually appealing about a hot sweaty woman. Maybe it comes down to them looking like they put a ton of effort into the action and what they have to do to get there. Perhaps something about men wanting to feel proud that they wore her out. They always seem so lively and energetic and it goes really hard. So few actresses are capable of doing it right that when you find someone who does it well (like Kaho Kasumi) you just want to watch it over and over and over again.
One of the biggest detractors to sweaty sex is the industry norm to use water. I want sweat not water. Turn on the heater, do it in the summer when it's humid, whatever it is, but don't just fake it and try to pull a fast on me. Do you take me for a fool? The quality is night and day and it's such a problem in that space that I find myself a bit tepid around it. When it hits it hits but I just have this half expectation of it failing.
Tutors are a simple but fun one. They take the concept of teacher but reduce it to a more simplistic form. Rather than going to school and having things in the classroom you bring it back home. You get to use more classic settings like the couch, bedroom, or even the desk to do fun things. I find it's usually pretty easy to follow along because everyone can see a white paper with red markings on it and know that's a graded paper. I find tutor videos feel a little bit more natural than teacher ones when the setting is equally more natural. Like you're sitting in the dude's bedroom not getting busy in the gym, which results in videos just flowing a little bit better. Speaking of differences, tutors also usually invite a slightly younger type of woman. I would expect the actress in their 30s or 40s to be a teacher, but a tutor could reasonably be a college student studying to become a teacher and not feel weird that she doesn't seem old enough. There's also the inherent reward element they generally play to, where sex is the reward for doing well on the test. You get into situations where they might flash you and say you'd get more if you score well on the test, and then it just sort of runs from there. It creates a sense of a full plot with almost no effort and once again a very clear understanding.
Tutor has always been second best teacher and that's why it sits in A tier. It's like the whole "we have X back at home" meme. Yeah I guess we do but secretly you wish it was in the classroom. There are usually enough differences where I won't be too bummed out but in general the teacher stuff is just better. The classroom vibes really pull their weight and you just don't get that with tutor.
That brings us to the end of part 2. I hope you've enjoyed seeing me rank different themes and hope you'll join me next time to see what's left, until next time!
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